Derailed

If I was off kilter yesterday, I am completely derailed today. I feel like I've been run over by something large and heavy, and I am dreading this meeting tomorrow like a root canal.

I know it has to be done, and I know it's going to be a trip to Guilt Trip City.

I talked to the doctor and the people at the rehab place yesterday and they all seem to want to help. I visited a potential place for Mom yesterday afternoon.. and it was nice, but I know she'll hate it. I know she'll hate and blame me for anything I do. I just talked to another place and they are sending me some information.

And I'm still working while doing all of this. I'm probably not doing a very good job, but I'm trying anyway.

I'm going to see Trigger this afternoon. Hopefully I can muster up enough energy to play with him for a while.

And then I have to start making the next round of calls and appointments in the wedding planning extravaganza.. sending the florist a deposit check, booking the officiant, finishing the guest list..

Never a dull moment in my world, that's for sure.

Off Kilter

Hmm.. where to start?

I am just off kilter today. Yesterday too. I don't even know how to explain it, other than I think I am stressing out big time over the situation with my mother. There are so many factors there to drive me to distraction that it's a wonder I can think about anything else right now.

There's the obvious fact that she's sick and needs help, of course. Then there's the fact that she is very manipulative and usually does everything she can to get on my nerves. (Case in point: Last night I was trying to tell her something and she kept asking questions about "that creepy guy." I had no IDEA what she was talking about. Turns out she was bringing up something that happened 5 years ago as if it were this afternoon, and I honestly believe that the entire purpose of the conversation was to bring up J. Now that I am done with him, she loves to talk about him... just because I don't want to hear it. Just like Flamey and every other person I've ever dated since I was 16.)

Then there's the fact that she can make me feel so bad for even existing at all that I want to contemplate jumping off the nearest bridge. And of course there's the religious angle. Don't even get me started on that. And did I mention that she is as stubborn as a mule and has a one-track mind? I honestly believe that if she lost both legs, was bleeding to death, and there were alligators crawling all over her house, she would still insist that she would be fine to go home.

I made some phone calls yesterday to talk to various family members about the situation, and it seems like some of them agree with my sister and I that Mom doesn't need to go back to the farm and that GM and GF can't take care of her anymore. Then again, there's also the "wait and see" contingent, who are so afraid to make a decision about anything that they would probably let the house burn down rather than make a decision to call the fire department or pick up the hose.

Very, very frustrating indeed. Last night after band practice (at which I was also a little off), I went home and snuggled with L on the couch while he talked on the phone to his mother. We went to bed relatively early, but I was still dragging when my alarm went off this morning. If I closed my eyes right now, I believe I could sleep at my desk for the rest of the day.

Something Borrowed..

After a very nice ride, and an even nicer bath, Trigger is anxious to get his dinner..Here he is before we went out.. we borrowed a saddle from a friend, to see if it helped his back. It did. Now I want a saddle like this...
Doesn't he look good in black??

The Weekend at Our House is Always....

Here is one of L's roses...He has proven himself to be a great yard person. Seriously, our yard is awesome, and I have absolutely nothing to do with it. I am lousy at yard work, especially since we have a couple of 4 foot black snakes that live in the mulch and leaves at the back side of the fence. They have been toying with L all week, and he has been trying to discourage them from hanging out in our flower beds.. but so far they have been elusive. Needless to say I am terrified of that section of the yard.. but not as terrified as I would be if they were cottonmouths or copperheads.. I don't like snakes.!
This is Duckie. He is very intense now that he has figured out that the house is much bigger than L's office, where he has been holed up since Monday. I put SoftClaws on him today.. wow, was that an ordeal! He will be as relieved as I once he is declawed and we don't have to go through that again.

Monster and Duckie are getting used to one another slowly.. still hissing, but not so bad as before.

L and I went to see Spiderman 3 today.. it was ok, but MY GOD it could have been HALF as long and been better. That movie dragged ON and ON until I thought I would go completely geriatric before it was over.

We got a Combo #1 at the concession stand.. $16 for a 5 gallon bucket of popcorn and two medium drinks. They must have been 40 oz each. Jeez, my drink was so heavy I almost dropped it on the way into the theater. Sheesh..

Tomorrow: Riding with Trigger!

Massive Updates

Well once again I have been so busy that I haven't had time to post anything for several days.. but I have lots of news.

First, a short NP update. I have gotten off track slightly with the NP, but I haven't forgotten. One of my things is going to happen right here, right now, as a matter of fact. I know that my sister reads every post I put up, and so this is a good place to say it. I am so proud of my sister! She is still in that tough, dues-paying portion of her new career, but girlfriend is working it. She is overcoming tremendous odds in landing the job that she has, and is working harder than I've ever seen her work to make it. She's kicking a$$ and taking names, despite a crazy ex who calls 900 times a day, a history of tough breaks, an uncertain financial situation, and a jealous ex-wife-in-law. She's also raising a gorgeous Attitude who is 16 and requires constant supervision. And did I mention that she's doing all of this with no college degree? Yeah.
Besides that she is beautiful, funny, smart, and the best sister in the history of the world. (Even though she did try to kill me when we were kids. Heh.) Sami, you're the best friend a girl could have. I love you!

I promise more NP updates to come.

In other news (and there's a lot), a LIST:
1) I am blonde again. All is right with the world, eh?
2) My car broke down yesterday. I need a new tire, a new fuel filter, and a good engine cleaning. Oh, and new wiring. That about covers it.
3) My wedding dress arrived!!!!! It is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and it fits perfectly. It will only need the most minor of alterations. Check tomorrow for a wedding news update.
4) Duckie is settling in well, but Monster is very very upset with ..well.. with everything in his life right now. He seems to be terrified of Duckie and growls at him from afar. Duckie is sublimely unconcerned. He is very playful, but when he's not whirling around like an insane dervish on crack, he's sleeping and purring his little head off. The vet said he weighs 2.3 pounds, but it's 2.3 pounds of pure dy-no-mite.
5) There is someone at work who I would dearly love to throttle right now. Unfortunately, I can't do so, and I really can't complain about it too much because dealing with this sort of thing is actually my job. So. Pray for my teeth, that I don't grind them into nonexistence before this proposal leaves my desk.
6) My mother makes my head hurt. That's all I'm going to say about that, for fear that I will become horribly depressed.
7) Trigger looks like a million bucks. Man, is he nice and shiny!!! But the back pasture is a long way to walk to, and the deer flies are horrible out on the trail. I'm looking for a good fly-annihilation method. Anybody know any? (I'm serious, those suckers are evil and they must DIE!)

And now I have a dinner to attend..

Meet Duckie..

Well That Was Certainly Interesting..

Last night, L and I went downtown to hear a free concert by Kevin Costner's band. This is why some people should not ever attempt to sing. Ever.

There was an enormous crowd, and I do mean enormous. There was only one beer truck and we stood in line for an hour to buy two drinks at a time because otherwise it would be a one drink night. I have tried to become used to crowds, and the fact that anytime I go anywhere near large numbers of people, I am going to get stepped on, mowed over, shoved, jostled, poked, and felt up by the slimy man who mutters "excuse me" under his breath as he goes by with a s--- eating grin. Grrrr.. but I digress.

We saw a very thin girl with enormous silicone breasts trying to hold a squirming toddler while wearing a skimpy little jersey knit strapless shirt as a dress, while teetering in towering stiletto heels. That was amusing, to say the least.

Then ol Kev started to sing, and we cleared out. We ran into CJ & R, and ended up doing some comparisons of local bars.. High Cotton, the Oyster place, Wild Wing, and finally Barley's, where we ate a huge pizza.

The sweetest thing I've heard lately: L was talking with some people at the bar at High Cotton about football, of course. One of the ladies remarked that he seemed to be such a happy guy, to which he replied, looking at me,

"Why wouldn't I be happy? I'm marrying HER!"

Heh. Just made my week, didn't he?

At the end of the night we had the Scary-as-Hell moment.. Driving down I-185 on the way home, we met someone driving the wrong direction down the highway in the passing lane! I called 911 to report it and get the cops out there before someone got killed.. and they first put me on hold, then cut me off. I don't know if the moron going the wrong direction at 65mph got in an accident, got stopped, or made it home uneventfully.. we never heard anything on the news.. but it's frightening when you call the emergency number and they don't even listen.

Meh. Anyway, that's my weekend. I'm still working on the NP update.. I haven't forgotten. :-) Coming soon: My wedding dress should be here by the 23rd according to the update they sent me yesterday...

My New Notebook

Erm.. Yee Haw, Y'all. :-)

Home Sweet Home

Let me state for the record that I am very happy to be home.
The rest of the updates will have to come later.. I need to go see Trigger. :-)

Our Brush with a Psycho on the MTA Bus

Well.. today in Nashville was certainly interesting.
We got up and went to the mid-morning session on time and effort reporting for primarily undergraduate institutions (of which we are not one). As you can see, this is incredibly scintillating material.

Anyway.

After that we decided to go shopping again, so we went down to try and catch the city bus. We got confused about the stops a little, and the wind started blowing and it got really cold, but finally we made our way over to Opryland Mills. Some weird guy got on the bus about halfway through the ride and started talking about his feet and then about his dead grandfather leaving him $850,000 in his will and blah blah blaaady blah. We were happy to get off the bus and head in the opposite direction from the one in which he was heading.

atrocious grammar, i know.

We went to lots of stores. M found many many sale racks and bought lots of stuff and spent less than $20. I made one spectacular find (I'll post a pic later), and bought two tank tops, but not much else.. I tried to find a cute dress for the engagement pics, but no luck. We went to see Georgia Rule, which we sort of expected to be a comedy from the previews..

But no. It was ultimately not. I think this movie was tres close to home for Miss Lohan, who was the trampy, albeit gorgeous, star who owned a LOT of white dresses. A LOT. My favorite line from the film..

"If you call me another name, or throw anything at me, or follow me around again.. I will find every one of your boyfriends and I will f*** them stupid!"

Heh.

After the movie we went to dinner. Then we made our way to the bus stop, and who should be there waiting for us but... the same guy from before. It crosses my mind that he may have been following us the entire time. But I don't want to be paranoid.

We get on the bus. He sits down in the seat closest to us and starts up his monologue again. This time he goes from his feet to religion to money to education. Apparently he believes that he is an MD and a lawyer, but he runs a landscaping business on the side, and he is going to start Disneyland in Nashville. He also says that he is a financial whiz because he has saved himself $2400.. because he's a lawyer and he knows legalities and he can notarize things.

I had to physically restrain myself from snorting out loud. Then he starts talking about his children and his ex-wives (of which there are apparently two). He said that he had open marriages, talked about how he had no restrictions on who they were with.. blah blah women are wonderful, blah blah.. but both his wives cheated on him and that's why it ended. My restraint could not handle that.

I asked him if he had an open marriage, why the heck did he care if they cheated???? He looked me dead in the eye and said "Because she cheated on me with black men!!"

Y'all, this guy was black himself.

I am not kidding.. this is too good to make up! I asked him what his first clue was that these women may have been attracted to men of color.. but he acted like he didn't hear me and changed the subject.

I swear it was the most ridiculous conversation I have ever been part of, ever, bar none. We both breathed a sigh of relief when he exited the bus. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to follow us back to our hotel. He had that serial killer look about him for sure. Or maybe I just don't like people who a) stalk me and b) lie, lie, lie.

Anyway we will be out of here tomorrow. M and I have been trying to engineer all of our new stuff into our suitcases for the flight home. Not sure if it's gonna happen, but we're trying.

Tomorrow:
Pictures of my awesome new notebook
NP update..
I get to see L :-D

I Wish...

Music City

Well, I'm blogging from Nashville, and there are only a few things to say so far:

1) Their goodwill store is not nearly as good as ours, population notwithstanding. I did find a brand new pair of Justin riding boots in my size for $1.99 though. I can't really complain too much, can I? Even though it was sort of like pawing through someone's trash. :-[
2) Their horses that pull the carriages on Broadway are not as well taken care of as ours in G'ville. Their coats don't shine and their hipbones stick out and they don't even get horsie tennis shoes. I feel bad for them, but I can't take them all home with me because Trigger would never forgive me. 3) I'm not really going to do any shows or fab restaurants this trip, because I have work to do and classes to attend, but that's really no big deal.. and
4) We went shopping yesterday and I found a pair of jeans at Banana Republic on sale and I bought them and they're a size 4. I have been excessively pleased with myself since I tried them on.

Other than that.. I have a headache, and our plans for the evening are indeterminate.
Later: Pics?

What's the Buzz, Tell Me What's a-Happenin..

Last night was great.

L and I went to eat at High Cotton, which was outstanding. Even though we got the table we always get in every restaurant, for some reason.. the microscopic one right next to the kitchen door. I had venison, L had yellowfin tuna. The food really was fantastic.

Jesus Christ Superstar was awesome, as always. Corey Glover was stunning as Judas, technical difficulties and all. I think the sound guy was struggling a little last night. Ted Neely was still good, but his voice made it clear why this is his "farewell tour." It was a stretch for him last night, I think, to play a vital, 33-year-old, perfect man.

L says that the show was totally different on the London stage where he saw it last. It's amazing how different groups can interpret the same music and the same lyrics in an entirely different way.

I also realized last night that I miss the theatre. I haven't done a play since around 1997, I think. It might be fun to audition for something sometime. But not in A-Town.

And now I am off to Nashville for a conference. I will be back home on Thursday. I discovered a massive thrift store extravaganza only a mile from our hotel, so look for updates on my amazing discoveries later in the week! (I love the bad-won't!! And, sadly, my sister is the only one who will probably get that statement..) Anyway, I'm going to get a few minutes of snuggle time in before we have to leave for the airport...

A Few Thousand Words

Working for the Weekend

This weekend was insanely busy. I feel like it's a vacation to come back to work.. and yet.. there are meetings looming, deadlines approaching, and at the end of the week.. another business trip!

So.. a quick recap of the stuff I haven't blogged so far:

• L and I did some frenzied shopping and decorating for the party on Saturday. He really needs to chill out. I swear he can put me right on the edge because he gets so uptight about things. And he assumes that because I am not running around with my head on fire about something, that it must not be important to me. I don't know where this idea comes from, but it's a) wrong (I usually know exactly what needs to be done and have a schedule for accomplishing it.. though I may not communicate that so well) and b) it's highly aggravating. I have a hard enough time keeping myself in the right lane going in the right direction without someone trying to speed me up and correct everything I do. Just saying.
• The Retro de Mayo party was a huge success. L found a joystick thingie that you plug into the TV to play all the old Atari games, and it was a real hit with all of our partygoers. Everyone played trivia as well. It was pretty cool.
  
• I went riding yesterday, and Trigger was very well behaved and except for one episode where he tried to trot down a muddy hill and nearly scared me to death, it was great.
• I also moved my base of operations for Eeeeebs from the sunroom to my craft room. That way I can hang up all my merch and keep it in order. It also keeps the cat from using all of the clothes as a bed. :-)

So now I just have to get ready for the week ahead... Saturday I am going to Nashville...

Retro de Mayo!!

Here are the flowers I got on Friday from work...And here are some highlights from our party last night.,..

Internet Apology

Ok, y'all. I owe you an apology. I have been remiss in my postings here over the past few weeks.. but it's been so busy I haven't had time to organize my thoughts into something even remotely coherent.

So today I will give it a try. Let's do it as a list, shall we?

1) L and I are hosting a neighborhood party tonight. That means lots of funny pics for later. I found L the ugliest pair of polyester pants in the world yesterday.. Did I mention that this is a 70-80s retro dance party mixed with a cinco de mayo party? yeah, it's going to be Retro de Mayo. :-)

2) I had a great ride with Trigger on Wednesday!! He was better behaved than I have ever seen him. We rode out through the woods for about 20 minutes at a nice walk, and then I turned him around and told him to go.. it took 5 minutes to get back to where we started. :-) He's so much fun! I'm going to see him tomorrow...

3) I had the strangest dream last night.. I dreamed that some ex girlfriend of L's showed up at our door, and that he let her in and told her that she could stay with us for a while. She was a skanky ho, y'all. I mean, someone that L would never look twice at, much less allow into our house, seriously. It was that bad. She kept hanging on him and I was afraid he was going to get lice or something (funny since he is bald..), and I was really irritated that he wasnt' making her stop. Well she insisted on sleeping in the room with us, and then when I got up (in the dream) I realized that she had stolen all of my jewelry. So I woke L up (in the dream) and told him, and we were looking through her stuff to see if she had it.. especially my engagement ring. I was SO MAD in the dream that I wanted to strangle L and her both.. I found some of my jewelry in one of her big plastic stripper shoes and then went to wake her up and confront her with it.. when I noticed that she was wearing my engagement ring. That sent me right over the edge. I woke up because I was grinding my teeth. I had to get up and put my ring on before I could go back to sleep. It sounds so freaking stupid when I write it down, but WOW, was it vivid!

4) So when I went back to sleep I had another weird dream. My dad came to visit and actually went to New Spring with me. (I was shocked!!) But instead of Perry preaching, there was a black woman preaching. She was ok, but she got mad at someone in the audience and started yelling at them. I was trying to explain to Dad that this wasn't the way it normally was. Then we left and went to a restaurant and we were eating steaks. He kept pointing out the "biblical errors" in the sermon and I kept trying to tell him that the lady who preached wasn't the real preacher and that the real guy knew his stuff. It was bizarre.

So yeah, that's been my morning so far.. that and ebay. Look for an update on the wedding blog momentarily.

Pictures? Did Somebody Say Pictures?

Here is a centerpiece from the wedding the band played at on Sunday:
And a motion shot of me singing. I look weird. But you can see my new Guess dress that I got at the "Badwon't" for probably about $0.15. And here's the whole band..
And Me and L after we were done playing. It was SO HOT in there!
So there, those of you who were dying for pictures. :-)

What I learned yesterday: Pilates is a lot harder than it looks! Of course I really already knew that, but the lesson was reinforced.

Lots Goin On..

There has been a lot of stuff going on this weekend, and between all of the stuff, I haven't had time to blog it.. So here goes: A quick run-down of the weekend so far. (Note: My weekend starts on Thursday night.)

Thursday night L's club came over for a planning meeting. At the risk of being antisocial, I worked on ebay stuff and helped cook.. but I wasn't about to take part in the planning for fear I'd end up with yet another job to do. I can't keep up with what I'm doing, obviously. Anyway the club members are nice, but apparently someone let Monster out!!! Monster Head has never been outdoors in his fuzzy little life! And it was raining!!! When everybody left, and I couldn't find him, I started freaking out a little bit, so I opened the door and started out into the yard to look for him. I didn't have to look very far.

He was huddled up underneath the patio table, his eyes as big as dinner plates, shivering. He was soaking wet and very very angry. He shot into the house like an arrow, and spent the rest of the night grumbling and trying to stay as close to me as possible. Poor thing.

Friday I met with MP about taking over the communications chair for the neighborhood. Apparently I am really in for a spate of nasty emails each month when the newsletter comes out. It's more of a contentious position than I imagined, but hopefully it won't take too much time to do.

Then I went to the amazing Goodwill store and bought some good stuff (I found a BCBG purse, and a Brighton belt!). Friday evening L and I went downtown and listened to some music. We had our pictures taken for the G'ville News/LINK at Roper's Jazz Caverns.

Saturday I went on a looooong ride with some ladies from the barn. Trigger was good as gold on the trail, but acted like a real brat when we got back to the barn. He actually threatened to kick me when I was cleaning his feet, and I discovered another spot of rain rot on his back, and he would not let me scrape it. I guess he needs more round pen work or something. Anyway..

Last night we went shopping for our Retro party on the 5th, and L got mad at me because apparently I wasn't interested enough in what we were doing. Never mind that he took 45 years to look through the 80s mix CD's and he never once communicated to me what he expected me to do for this thing. I swear, I love him to pieces but he is perhaps the absolute worst communicator I have ever tried to deal with. I have every intention of us planning this thing together.. but apparently he doesn't believe me or something.

And today I have to sing with the band at a wedding in GA. L doesn't want to go, but he is going with me apparently. He seems to be upset because I don't know every single little detail of what time everything is taking place.. but it's not my frikkin wedding. I don't know. Can you tell I am a little frustrated? Agh.

SO that's the update right now.. plus.. Mom. Oy vey.
Later: Something shorter. Maybe some pictures...

Long Day

The work day is finally over, and the party is just beginning. Or something like that.
I have the Alumni club planning committee at my house this evening. I am hardly in the mood to be social, but I suppose there is no choice. I am sure that a half a bottle of cab will help me feel better about it, though.

I rode with Trigger yesterday, and he was a total brat almost the whole time. I have rope burns on my hand from his antics in the round pen, and I had to really get after him on the trail. i think he was just having a bad day.

Meanwhile, I have spent too much money this week already.. but I seem to be having a hard time caring enough to stop. I guess I will start to care when I don't have money to go out to lunch next week. ;-|

Hum. At least it's the weekend.

Feast or Famine

I have said before that I love my job. I really do. But the way the work comes in sure can be annoying. I had several days this week where I was bored senseless, with nothing to do at all except read boring RFPs and meeting notes.. and then today the proverbial sh!t hit the fan. All of it. Splat!

So now it's the end of the day and I know that tomorrow is going to be insane, and it looks like the rest of my life is looking like it's revving up to be pretty crazy too in the next few months, as I try to figure out what the heck to do about some big ol situations.

Uh oh. I feel a list coming on.. things I am supposed to be doing right now:
1) Planning the wedding. Duh,
2) Planning a party that we are supposed to host for the neighborhood association on May 5
3) Filing a lawsuit on behalf of my mother
4) Making some sort of future plans for my mother, since it is obvious that she is incapable of making them herself, and is not going to become capable in the foreseeable future
5) Working my normal hours at my normal job
6) Starting a dual employment project for another department
7) Writing grants for a nonprofit organization in town
8) Riding and taking care of Trigger
9) Playing with the band, which includes a lot of creative things (like writing new songs) that I have been neglecting for a long time
10) Selling Tupperware (I don't see this ever going anywhere, do you?)
...
And that's just the tip of the iceburg.
SO.. maybe it's time to do some reevaluating. When I get too busy and stressed, I start doing stupid things like forgetting the dates that I am going to be out of town, and spending $100 on tickets to a show during the time I am going to be gone. I did that this week. :-(

The good news is that I am going to be able to reschedule my tickets. So I will get to see Jesus Christ Superstar after all. :-)

I'm going to see Trigger now. He will make me feel better.

Thoughts on the Honeymoon

I had a dream last night where something funny happened and I remember thinking "I need to blog that!" But I can't remember what it was.

L got a book in the mail yesterday for planning the big honeymoon. Check out the company he's looking at: Backroads This looks really cool.. as long as you can take it at your own pace and you don't end up so tired at the end of the day that it isn't a honeymoon at all, if you catch my drift.

This trip sounds cooler than cool.. but I've already had one honeymoon where there was no traditional nocturnal honeymoon activity, and I am in no hurry to repeat the experience. Just saying. ;-)

Later: My Spending Spree Needs to Stop Soon..

Trigger Gets New Shoes..

Saturday was a day for new shoes and a very nice ride... Here's Trigger standing still like a good boy for the farrier. He was extremely well behaved, until he was done getting his new shoes.. then he had to show off and kick up his heels a little when I put his saddle on and went to the ring to warm up..
He is quite a little show off now that his rain rot is gone and his winter coat is going. He is all shiny and has gotten at least 2 inches taller in the past month. He needs to stop growing soon or I will have to have a ladder to get on his back!
This is what the world looks like from Trigger's back. We had a fantastic ride on Saturday after the shoeing and the showing off in the ring..
Here he is, ready to hit the trail..

... and after the ride and a bath, rolling in the dirt!

The latest NP update for the weekend: I got a $25 restaurant gift card and gave it to MM.. to thank him for all the extra stuff he does for me and Trigger (and all of us at the barn).. riding with us, showing us new trails, helping me give Trigger a shave and a haircut, etc. And I gave L a funny little card telling him he's cute. 'Cuz he is.

Today we went to Artisphere in downtown G'ville. We had lunch at the Overlook Cafe in Falls Park (mmmm, salmon sandwich! Yum-O!) and walked around looking at art for a while. Then we went to the library, and after that we came home and sat out in our yard reading for a while.

For dinner we made steak salads.. bleu cheese, walnuts, pears, with balsamic dressing and sirloin medium rare. Yum-O again.

And right now, our fridge is making some kind of weird noises. I hope nothing is broken again.

Tomorrow: back to work..

Philosophy Experiment

I have decided that it's time for a little update of my relationship philosophy.

I'm tired of being surrounded by negativity! It seems like we all concentrate on negative things that happen, the things that bother us and the people that drive us crazy... the things that people do that hurt our feelings. But how often does the average person concentrate on something positive?

How often do you tell the people you are closest to how you really feel about them? Do you go beyond the perfunctory "please and thank you" dictated by good manners? If a friend or family member says or does something nice for you, or even if you just like being around them, do you tell them, or just think it to your self and go on about your business?

I know that personally I wonder a lot of times about the people who are closest to me. Am I a good friend? Am I someone other people enjoy spending time with? Because it is definitely true that when I have a party and no one shows up (which is usually the case.. although I have finally gotten the message that I have been inviting all the wrong people), I get my feelings hurt and decide that nobody really cares about me.

This is admittedly a dumb way to look at things (thus the philosophy change). Do other people do the same thing? Eh, probably. Most likely even people I love and care about. So I started this grand "new philosophy experiment" yesterday.

It works like this: Anytime I have a thought about doing something nice for someone, no matter who it is, I am going to follow up on it. I am going to actively do the things that will make people happy (including me) and actively ignore the negativism. In the long run, I think this philosophy will make me a better person, a better friend, a better family member, and a better Christian.

So.. here are the things I did yesterday as a result of this thing I am going to call NP (If you can think of a better name for it, comment it!):

1. I bought a card to send to my mother
2. I called PR and told him how much I enjoyed my trip to the marina with him last week, and also how glad I am that he is my friend. He is a great guy and I don't think I have ever told him that in the 12-13 years that we have known each other.
3. One of the directors at work (SM) brought us strawberries from the Edisto area yesterday. I went home and made strawberry jam with mine, and brought a jar for everyone in my office, and also a jar for SM to take home.

So far I have learned that:

1. People really want to hear good things, and most of them are really surprised when you do something nice out of the blue.
2. I have a lot more "nice" thoughts than I thought I did. This could get to be hard work! I might end up having to be nice all the time, if I'm going to follow up on all of them.
3. I'm suddenly kind of like "Earl" (as in, My Name Is..). I've got a list.

Heh. Me, having a list! Can you imagine??

Oh, and the Trigger Update.. It rained. :-( Trigger got brushed and petted a little, and then he went back to the pasture with his buddies. I will have to save my riding for Saturday, after he gets his new shoes.

Things I'm Going to Do this Weekend

1. Meet with someone about taking over the neighborhood newsletter.

2. Play Bunko

3. Go to the Amazing 99-Cent Goodwill Extravaganza

4. Trigger is going to get new shoes and have his toes trimmed..

5. Artisphere is this weekend at Falls Park. We are definitely going to make and appearance there. That's always a fun afternoon or evening. Maybe we'll even do dinner downtown on Saturday night! :-)

6. Clean up my craft room. It is such a mess that I have no hope of finishing any of the million projects I have going right now.. I need to get with it.

7. Ship a bunch of pots and pans to mah seestor. She needs something to cook in besides her Wal-Mart Special.

Later: the Trigger Update

Terrorist on Campus?

What's going on? Seriously, sometimes I wonder what goes on in the minds of certain people. What motivates their actions? What causes someone to crack and do something insane.. like gun down 33 college students and professors who were minding their own business? In case you've been hiding under a rock somewhere, it happened at Virginia Tech yesterday. (Link goes to the A-Town Dependent article).

This event gave a lot of people on this college campus pause. We had a robbery at gunpoint just outside my building last week. It could easily happen on any campus anywhere in the world, and there's really not much we can do about it. You can't fight someone who has nothing to lose. There's nothing that scares someone like that.

Whatever the guy's motives turn out to be, what he did was terrorism in my book. Thinking about how we feel right now.. imagine if that sort of thing was happening every day. It does in Israel and Iraq, and dozens of other places around the world. I don't intend this as some sort of global commentary. I'm just saying.. wow. Lots of us (us being humankind in general) should stop and think for a few minutes about how to stop people like this nutjob.

Either reach out to them before they reach the "actively nuts" stage, or stop them cold with whatever force is necessary to prevent their monstrously stupid and senseless acts.

So there's my two cents. We're praying for VT today. You should too.

Monday Monday

List! List! Yay!
I knew you wanted another list!
(Please ignore the cleverly disguised fact that I am too lazy to craft coherent paragraphs today, so I am relying on a list instead..)

1. L is home! The hibachi dinner was a success, even though he was so tired that he almost fell into his plate. While he was gone, he backed his 4Runner into a tree, so it is looking a little worse for wear at the moment. Sunday was better for L.. We did a little shopping (new rugs for the bathrooms.. they're soft and they match!!! And a new skirt for me which is cute, cute, CUTE), had lunch at Arizona, and then came home for a very, *ahem* very nice little nap.

2. Did I mention the 4-hour trail ride on Friday? Yeah that was great. And Trigger was quite well behaved.

3. Somebody on ebay thinks it is ridiculous to charge $18 to ship something to Canada. I doubt that this person has ever actually shipping anything that far themselves, or else they'd know that I'm not exactly making money off of that deal. That gives me $2 for a box and the rest goes to Uncle Sam for the postage. Sheesh, some people.

Well that was a short list, huh?
Later: Something More Interesting

Ride Em Cowboy

It's been an interesting few days, and I have once again been remiss in posting here. ...Since I am sure that everyone is waiting with bated breath to find out what I am up to! (*insert eye-rolling here).

Seriously, though, it's been pretty cool, despite the fact that the allergies are kicking my butt and without decongestants, I feel like I'm drowning. Thursday evening I went to the marina to see Papa Ridgeback and his neat-o little boat. We ate steaks at The Galley and walked around on the docks. Very very cool.

Yesterday I went on a 4 hour trail ride with a lady from the barn and two of her friends. Trigger behaved himself admirably and we had lots of fun. He is an excellent, excellent horse. L is coming home this evening, but before that, the lady is coming to clean the house (yay). Tonight I am cooking Japanese hibachi style chicken with zucchini and rice.. I even bought sake.

I still haven't heard a word from A. I will cease to be surprised and hurt at some point, I guess. I just haven't reached it yet. I really need to stop thinking of it as "I must not be very good friend material' and start thinking of it as "She must not be the nice person I thought she was." But that's harder than it looks.

Anyway I am sure that no one wants to hear anymore whining about it, so Monster and I are going to put in another load of laundry and finish writing our list for today. :-)

Of Theft and Taxes

I am posting tonight from L's computer, which I used to help a friend do her taxes. It was probably the most complicated tax return I have ever seen, but we "got 'er done" and they are getting a refund. So it's all good.

The theft part of the title is about me thinking I would lift a picture from L's computer to post here. I was thinking that he had pictures that I don't have, but I was mistaken. I forgot that he bought a new computer this year, so I have copies of all of the pictures on here already. I was hoping to find a picture of a slightly younger and lighter L on a mountaintop in Germany.. but no such luck.

So, instead I will post another list. (Yes, I have grown rawthuh fond of lists of late.) This is a list of Things I love, love, lurve right now:

1. L, of course. Absence and all that. And he is so sweet. I am loving his latest purchase.. the Rachael Ray cookware is awesome! L is even awesome-er.

2. My mom. She really drives me insane sometimes, but she is almost comically tragic. Or tragically comic. Anyway I love her.

3. Trigger. Need I say more?

4. I have really been in the mood for ice cream lately. Yumm. And cheesecake. I am very tempted to attempt the pumpkin cheesecake recipe I found today. Maybe I will. But who will help me eat such a thing???

5. My growing shoe collection.. ahh, high heels!

6. The bed!! It has nice clean sheets and an electric mattress pad that keeps it nice and warm. In fact, I think it is calling my name right this minute.

Tomorrow: Who Knows?

400

Hello and welcome to the 400th post at the Dysfunction Junction.

I went riding with MM yesterday after work. It was fun, and Trigger got some exposure to riding with a dog along. Trigger does not like dogs and kept trying to bite and kick at the dog, but he never managed to connect. It was a fun ride, and wow does Trigger look good now that his summer coat is coming in!

I got home around 9 pm and decided to heck with trying to cook anything for dinner. I ate macaroni and cheese and a salad.

In other news, I still haven't heard a word from A. I sent her an email yesterday basically explaining my feelings on the whole situation. Obviously she couldn't care less.. not much of a friend apparently. It sucks. I mean, I would forgive her if she put forth any effort to be nice or explain why she ditched me in Vegas.. but she isn't going to. Obviously I am not important enough.. but I guarantee you that if I were some A-Town county official (or was sleeping with one), I'd be important enough.

Bleah. Gag.

I can't help but think after JT and H and now A.. why do I even bother trying to have girlfriends?! But then there's AC and mah seestor so I'm not completely striking out in that department. Is it just that all women are really like that underneath it all? Do we all have an inner bitch who says it's okay to treat our female friends like crap when it's convenient for us? I hope not, but you have to wonder sometimes.

Later: The Tax Man Cometh.

It's Time for a List..

Here it is, the long awaited Tuesday List:
1. Here are a few more Vegas pics for mah seestor: In front of the Paris Hotel..
And at Caesar's Palace..

2. I am getting an orange tabby kittie from MJ at work! They are 2 weeks old right now, so he or she won't be coming home for a few weeks. But at least my search for a little orange eraser-toed mini-monster is over.

3. Look for an immediate update on the wedding blog..

4. I am ready for my town (P'ville) to be annexed by G'ville. We really don't figure at all in A-Town politics, and it's much closer for us all to go to G'ville for everything we want to do anyway. Why do we have to be part of A-Town when G'ville is a better place to live and work, and lacks the grandstanding, subterfuge, and general BS that A-Town is famous for? Just my two cents.

5. What do you do when you realize that a long time friend is a) not really your friend and b) is not someone you want influencing your life anymore? I guess there isn't so much to do really.. just processing it, I guess. It sucks.

Today.. I am going to see Trigger after work, then it's off to the hacienda to whip up something for dinner and hopefully go to bed early. I am not sleeping as well as I usually do, without L around.

Well Heeey

Tomorrow it's back to life as usual, folks.

L left this morning for Tally. I just talked to him on the phone, and apparently things are business as usual at the parents' house. He is sitting in the "cave" room (it's so filled with boxes that he can't move around) listening to Barney and Denver howl their frustration at being outside at night...

Monster is overjoyed at being inside all night, and not in the garage in his playpen. I went to see Trigger today. We did lots of groundwork and not much riding, but it was fun anyway. He looks really pretty now that his winter coat has shed out. He was a little attitudinal today, but what can you expect after a week of not being worked? We'll hit the trails later this week.

In other news.. I have cleaned the kitchen and washed the new Rachael Ray pots and pans that L bought me before he left. They're pretty cool. I haven't cooked in them yet, but I can't wait.

So.. now I am going to take a shower and do something with my cracked and crappy looking nails.

Tomorrow: Back to work..

Leaving Las Vegas

I am blogging from the hotel gift shop now, as I get ready to leave Las Vegas. It's been a good trip despite A's not showing up.. So, because I have to get off of here pretty quick, a List:

1. Wow, I am still stunned by the fact that A didn't show and didn't call or anything. After all the things L and I have done for her and A2, and as long as we have been friends, I can't believe she would be SO RUDE. Look for an update soon on the wedding blog to discuss the state of my wedding party now that they will NOT be included.

2. I met some cool girls in the class over the last few days and we went out Wednesday night and had SO much fun! We took the pole dancing class at the Aladdin and then went karaoke singing.. I sang the first song and then the guy running it made me keep singing. We packed the bar and felt like rock stars. :-)

3. I miss L! I am SO glad I will see him tonight!

4. We are getting a new cat when I get home. We have decided that Monster needs a friend to play with, and since we discovered that everyone else in the neighborhood has more than the 3-pet limit, we decided to do it.

SO.. Now I am off to get my luggage and check out of the hotel.
Tomorrow: Back home and back to business...

Lovin Las Vegas

I made it to Vegas last night. L reports that this is what I am missing at home: This little guy has figured out that MonsterHead can't reach him through the window.. so he eats in relative peace, and Monster goes nuts.

Meanwhile, I am in my awesome suite in Vegas.

Last night I ordered room service and then went to sleep. (It's hard to get any pics with people in em when you're by yourself.. but here I am). I finally did hear from A, who has not shown up yet.. I got a cryptic email this morning saying that her phone was broken and that she had missed her flight. I don't think I will be seeing her this week, unfortunately. I hope so, but I totally doubt it. This does not bode well.
Anyway, here are Elvis and Priscilla, the resident swans at my hotel. They're pretty neat. They swim around their little pool with some of the biggest Koi I've ever seen.
I snapped this big girl chewing on a rawhide bone at the MGM Grand. There are three lionesses in this giant glass habitat thing with a waterfall. Way cool.

I think I am going to go to the hotel's free happy hour tonight, then out to dinner somewhere.. free shuttles run until 10:30, so yeah.. fun stuff even if it is, as Celine would say, "All By My Self.."

My Most Boring Update to Date

I have decided that being injured is the pits. I went back to the doc yesterday and he said that I still have space in my left shoulder that shouldn't be there, but there really isn't anything to be done about it at this point. He prescribed exercise and the same drugs the ER gave me, which luckily i already had.

I have been spending far too much money this week.. and I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow for a training class. This is going to be an all credit-card trip unless my travel money from Columbia Wednesday kicks in. L keeps saying that I should try to win some money for the wedding fund.. He doesn't know what an abysmal gambler I am. I am extremely risk averse.

Anyway, I have a ton of stuff to get done today.. mailing my ebay stuff, packing my clothes, going to see Trigger... So I am going to get with it. My next update will be from Las Vegas....

Note to Fran: Thanks for the tip.. I wanted those shoes in white anyway! I'm so excited.. :-D

Ouch, Etc.

Well the good news is that I have no broken bones, and no current dislocations. All my stuff is where it should be, except the muscles in my back and neck and left arm, and my nerves in my left arm.

I go back to the doc on Thursday morning, so we'll see what he says. In the meantime, Flexeril causes weird dreams... but you're so relaxed that you don't care. I do feel a little better today, so hopefully that's a trend that will continue.

I've got a ton of work to do before heading to Columbia this afternoon, so that's all for today. Later: Who knows?

Don't Pull the Trigger...

Well.. Yesterday was an interesting day, to say the least. I took my first launch off of Trigger's back, and he is much farther off the ground than he looks... But he's pretty!

Trigger and I were getting ready to go out on a trail ride when another lady at the barn shows up and wants to go along. Well that's fine with us, cuz we've been riding by ourselves a lot lately. So after an attempt to go to Isaqueena, we ended up in some trailer park, where this person demonstrated some rather interesting judgment in riding her horse through backyards and unknown woods.

I wanted to go back to the trails we knew.. so we did. Once we got there, this lady was all about hauling a$$ down the trail. I said "Hold up!" but I guess she didn't hear.. one of my stirrups had somehow gotten messed up and it was longer than the other. I needed to fix it, but I didn't get the chance because she took off at full tilt, and Trigger, being a horse, wanted to follow.

I thought I could hang with it.. Trigger has a nice canter and I figured it wouldn't be a problem. The problem came when she took it faster and faster and Trigger tried to match. Still, we would have been fine if my foot hadn't slipped out of the stirrup . I overcompensated, and when he hit his stride the next time, I went flying!

He really is a good boy, and it wasn't his fault at all. In fact, when he felt my butt leave the saddle, he put on the brakes. Not only did he stop when I fell, he stood there, sniffing at my head, until I got up.

I thought I was dead for the first few minutes.. I always knew Heaven would smell like a horse!! ... until I opened my eyes and saw Trigger's nose directly above me. The lady came tearing back toward me about the time I was picking up my hat and my saddle bags, and suggested that we trade horses. Shyea, RIGHT. I don't THINK SO.

So we rode back to the barn and I gave Trigger a bath and combed his mane and tail and stuff.. Then I went home, showered, and L and I hosted a cookout. But..

By the end of the night I was feeling rough indeed. Sleeping last night was interesting in itself.. and today we are toying with the idea of going to the hospital to check me out. I think I may have shifted or dislocated something. But I'm not dead, so that's good. I need to call TO and tell him he did a better job with my horse than I thought he did!

Later: A report from the hospital?

Gearing Up..

Good Morning.
I have been out of bed for exactly 7 minutes.. long enough to get some coffee, check my ebay listings, and log in to blogger.

I feel I have been a little remiss in posting here lately. Sure, I've posted, but not at the same level I was before. It's just that I've been really busy and the weather is so nice out that I want to be out with Trigger or something. Anyway, I will try to do better. ;-)

So.. Trigger got a haircut on Wednesday. God bless MM, because that would never have happened without him. We had to use a twitch, which Trigger was not happy about, but he stood still and let us clip him. He looks SO pretty now, except for the rain rot, which is healing slowly. Either this afternoon or tomorrow, he is getting another iodine bath.

This morning, after I eat some breakfast and do some yoga, I am going to check out the roses L planted in the backyard, and then I am going to a new Goodwill Liquidation Center. Actually the LC isn't new. It's been there. But I just found out about it. ;-) I will post later with anything interesting I find.

Underage

"Duuuuude, this is so coooooooooool!"
Here are me and K, sometime around 1979-1980. I'm the one with the pigtails and the drunken-looking grin, of course. Dig my groovy overalls!

In other news, yesterday was extremely stressful. Even after a strong lunchtime run around campus, with iTunes blaring Nickelback and Thorogood, I was still ready to scream at everyone with minimal provocation. I went home, did some yoga, had a martini, and finally got some long-awaited *ahem* ...stress relief. I feel much better today. :-)

Another List for your Reading Pleasure..

1. L is terriffically attractive to cougars. It's like they can sense him from a mile away, and none of them to date have realized that he's with me. LOL Seriously, it's getting ridiculous. I can't take him anywhere!

2. I got around $1000 worth of clothes for around $11 on Friday at the Goodwill store. Just the things I know the prices of... a Casual Corner shirt that would have been at least $30, a Club Monaco 100% cashmere sweater that would have been around $85, an Abercrombie & Fitch sweater $90, an Ann Taylor dress $130, a Shelli Seagal dress $120, a shirt from Express $49, a jacket from Isaac Mizrahi $50, a jacket from Mossimo with the tags still on it $35, a very nice lined windbreaker $50, a wool skirt with tags still on $65, a skirt from Target with the tags still on $30, a jacket by Luella $45, two new camis $20, a Gap sweater $40, a sweater set from the Limited $45.. and a few other things that I have no idea where they came from.. so yeah, around $890 or so? For $11!!! Thrift stores rock.

3. I got my new phone today! It's charging now.. yay!

4. The band played on Saturday.. CJ didn't announce the actual band name though, "in case we sucked." I don't know what he is afraid of. It's not as if we have a reputation to uphold, or as if we want to be famous or something. We're just a jam band. Sheesh. Let's PLAY SOMETHING already. Using our OWN NAME.

Ok, I am still a little frustrated. Can you tell?

5. I hate birth control pills.

6. Time to get back to work. Break time over. Nothing to see here...

Yo Mama

Maw, Maw, Tell us Maw.. Maw Maw, Tell Us Maw.. (Kimmy, remember that song? How absolutely non-politically correct we were? LOL)
... I Loooove this man...

More Than A Penny's Worth.. A List

Last night L and I went down to A-Town for a party at a certain Irish Pub, and to see A&A who we never see anymore. We ate dinner at Sona, a pretentious establishment which will not be seeing us again. I was resoundingly unimpressed-- L and I cook better meals every day. Then we went over to the pub, where I saw the same old crowd that's been there for the past 10 years and realized that many things never change.

One in particular talked to L as if he were J, as if he couldn't tell the f***ing difference, which may have been the alcohol, but whatever. I'm not saying that we had no fun. I'm just saying it was weird enough to give me pause.

This morning I went for a ride with Trigger, which was a little cold, but nice. We had a little issue with one of the water crossings, but only because it combined all of the things that Trigger dislikes.. an 18-inch step down, mud, and a very narrow trail. We made it though, and I had lots of time to think about a lot of things.

So, a list for those of you who have read this far:

1) A-Town is a weird place. A-Town just seems to have a contingent of folks who like to be pretentious. People who look down at anyone not in their little clique as somehow less than they are. People who like to name drop, and women who try to climb your husband's leg while you're standing right there-- or vice versa. And when they realize that you know the names they've dropped as well as (or maybe even a little better than!) they do, they really get pissed. As if to say "Just where does this young person get off, being friends with him (or her, depending)??" As if any of it matters. As if anyone outside of a 5-mile radius of the courthouse gives a flying ****. Just what the hell is wrong with being yourself, regardless of who you know and who you don't?

2) A-Town politics is a 3-ring circus. And I would venture to guess that the entire county government is one enormous love decahedron. Who's sleeping with who? Who gives a crap? L and I were talking about it all on the way home, and we think that from now on, we are making our own plans, going to G-ville to the places where we have fun and if some of our A-Town friends want to come, they are welcome.. but we're not changing our plans or going to A-town to hang out. Which leads us to..

3) I feel really bad that two of my best friends, A&A, are being eaten by A-Town politics. It's almost like not being friends at all. We never see them-- when we invite them somewhere, they say they're coming and then never show up. When they invite us somewhere, we end up hanging out with the county, not with our friends. Or else we end up being volunteered to "work" some event. The only exception to this is if they come to our house.. which rarely happens anymore. It just makes me sad-- first of all that we're considered second-class friends, who don't deserve a frikkin phone call when they can't make it, and second that I miss them. Third is that they're supposed to be in the wedding, and what happens if they're too busy to make that? And of course I don't say anything because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make the situation worse. Still, it bothers me.

4) To change the subject entirely, I can't wait to get some furniture in the dining room so we can invite some friends over for dinner. Cookout weather is on its way though, so we could always use the patio set.. it seats 6.. I just think it would be nice. There are several neighbors here that I'd like to have over sometime. Which leads me to..

5) There are lots of people around who would be great friends. There are lots of people around who would pick up the phone if something came up, or who would invite us somewhere for the pleasure of our company, and vice versa. Why the fixation on the ones who don't, can't, won't, etc?

Later: Pics from Mom's last weekend
My amazing trip to the 99cent Goodwill
Tonight the band is playing... WOOHOO!

Alligator Wrestling

Well, well.
This was the trip to Florida when we visited the alligator farm. I have been terrified of alligators ever since. Like snakes, I don't mind watching them on TV or from a distance, but the thought of having one in close proximity literally makes my skin crawl. Here we are, sitting on a stuffed one.. a few minutes later while walking around the facility, we saw another gator that looked just like this one, and took off running to sit on his back, too.. only he wasn't stuffed! I remember being whisked off my feet by one of the adults so fast that my head spun! I imagine that they have since removed the stuffed alligator from the area. ;-)

I was looking through some of the other "old pictures" blogs and thinking about our regrettable fashion choices through the years... It always seemed that if we ever had a "look" (like Kimmy's preppy purple in yesterday's entry) it was like a costume to us. It was so unusual for us to look good and "put-together" that it was almost uncomfortable.. and we wore the same "outfit" all the time. Never mixed it up at all! Because our "costumey outfits" didn't go with our "playclothes" which consisted of elastic waisted bottoms in hideous colors, double knits, tee shirts, and dirty tennis shoes. And our "dressy clothes" were always hand-me-downs, until K came into the picture.

I chalk that up to our mother (and grandmother's) love for doll dresses and polyester.

The Glasses are Back.

You know, I saw those glasses just the other day. They always swore that they would return one day for revenge, and that's just what has happened. Suddenly they are "IN" again.. big round bubble eyed glasses that dwarf the face are all the rage again. It's frightening. So here are a few more pictures of the first time around: Here we have Miss Kimmy before she developed her deadly allergy to anything furry. I believe this may have been one of the Puffs, but i don't know which one. Note the nifty combination of a peter pan collar and a chicken-neck tied collar on that hideous shirt..

Here she is a little older, holding a squalling baby RA and looking very carefully preppy. She has apparently finally talked the parents into letting her grow her hair out a little, too. She's really very cute.

SO, current events..

I went riding yesterday on my bald horse. It was fun, even though he tried to test me and had to get a few little spankings with the end of the rein. It's the time of year for horses to shed and feel their oats, so it's pretty expected for him to act up a little.

Later: Something more interesting...

I'm Back.. oh, and Hee Haw, of course

Well, we're back from NC.. Mom was on her best behavior because L was there and he hasn't been around her enough for her to feel comfortable being up to her usual tricks in front of him. So it was actually the closest thing to a normal visit and conversation with my mom that I've had in years.

GM took us to the biggest furniture showroom I have ever seen in my life, and we looked at some really nice furniture. We went out to dinner with Dad and P on Saturday night, which was also nice.

When we got home yesterday, we washed our cars (even waxed mine, which I don't think has ever happened!) and cleaned the house and did some laundry. After that we drank some wine, grilled some steaks with bleu cheese, and generally had an excellent evening.

Extremely excellent indeed, if I do say so myself. And I just did. ;-)

Well I know some of you NEED some old pics, so here are a few:

Here we have me and Princess at one of our famous "Hee Haw" shows. This was one of my debut public performances.. I was already pretty comfortable with a mic even back then. And need I point out.. My sister got back, for real. Even as an 8-year-old. ;-)
Here we have a rare snowstorm. We LOVED to go sledding, and if there were no convenient hills, we'd convince one parent or the other to drag us around on the sled. It doesn't snow like this anymore though, does it? At least not around here.

Later: Pics from NC this weekend

Going Visiting

Ah, our parents... shown here in the halcyon days before the Halcyon and Xanax days... Mom would wail loudly about that first line. Anyway, here they are in the 80s, visiting our great-great aunt and uncle.. who my mother adored and my father detested (the respective feelings were mutual). Dad looks pretty good, as always, although I am sure he is wishing he had something stronger in that glass than iced tea... But bless his heart, he didn't know about Uncle C's Wild Turkey stashed under the couch.

Mom.. well what can you say about Mom? The white dress isn't actually bad, if you ignore the Enormous Elizabethan Ruff of Doom that is threatening to strangle her. You also have to ignore the giant dark glasses that are eating her face and the perm. Okay, it's a mess. I give up. At least she always had great skin.

In more current events, I visited Trigger yesterday. I was quite dismayed when I saw him and was about to give him a lecture about fighting with his pasture pals.. but his baldness on one side of his neck and one shoulder appears to be another incarnation of rain rot (Ft Collins, am I allowed to say that? I don't think rain rot is reportable, but if it is, I take it back! ;-) His swollen leg seems to be from a kick or something, and he doesn't appear to be lame, so I just cleaned it and put some medicine on it.

The rain rot, however, resulted in a two-hour scrub session with antibacterial shampoo, followed by a good slathering with iodine, which Trigger did not particularly appreciate. A bucket of feed assuaged all hurt feelings, however, and he should be fine when I go out this afternoon to ride him a little. I can't wait for the weather to get warmer so that the sun kills all the rain rot! I hate seeing my horse go bald before my eyes!

Anyway, I will be incommunicado (at least as far as the blog goes) for the weekend, as L and I are going to visit Mom and the GP's. I'll post a monster update when we get back. :-)

Snaggle Teefs

My Sesame Street shirt ROCKS. It's just like Bert & Ernie's.

Now that the need for old pictures has been satisfied, I must confess the reason for my absence for the last few days. I have been violently ill (a colleague reports today that he can't picture me in connection with any type of violence. I reply that he must not know me well).

I could have stayed in bed all day, too, but the prospect of being two or three days behind at work sent me to the office forthwith. I am on another round of (much stronger) antibiotics, which already has me feeling at least vaguely human again.

Assorted Issues

Ok, y'all. It's official that I have lost my mind. This is Me and L at his birthday party last week. We're silly.. This is me today.
Yes, it is darker than I intended, and yes, L hates it.

Today was a day for messing up, apparently. After I messed up my hair, we met with our wedding photographer, and I wrote him a check for the deposit, only to find that L wanted to discuss it further and then get back to him. He didn't express this to me, either before we got there or when I was writing the check, but I still can see his point.. sort of.

He also seems to think that I give out too much information. Apparently the fact that I have been married and divorced before is somehow taboo. Meanwhile, I have had some stupid idea that I would be misrepresenting myself if I acted like I had never been married before.

Don't ask, I really can't tell you why.

I can tell you, however, that NN (aka J) made more of an impression on me than I care to contemplate. He is the reason that I tiptoe around L when I think he may be upset with me. He is the reason that I make decisions about things without even thinking about asking L.. because asking NN always meant spending more than we had by a few thousand dollars for something I positively detested. Every time. Meanwhile L has better ideas than I do most of the time, and would probably make better, more informed decisions.

I know that everything should be new this time, that I shouldn't let any past experiences cloud the way I see things now, and that they certainly shouldn't have any bearing on the decisions I make... but that's easier said than done. And I know that to L it has to be like nails on a chalkboard every time he is reminded that I used to be married to someone else. It would be to me if the shoe were on the other foot.

But sometimes I feel like everything that came before this (this being my life now) is something to be ashamed of.. my neurotic family, my horrible relationship and career choices, my religious fanatic upbringing, my dismal failure of a marriage. Only I don't like that. In fact, I hate it.

This is not an L issue. It's me thinking how I would feel. It's me thinking about the skin crawling embarrasment of listening to NN hold forth at every event we ever went to about things he had (supposedly) done, and imagining that L feels that way about me.

Though realistically, if that were actually the case, L would not be marrying me. And realistically, I don't talk about a lot of my life to anyone but him. Still, perhaps I should stop.

Perhaps I should stick to funny pictures.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

..I wish I were snoring.

Seriously, I have wanted a nap all day. I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a bad attitude. The attitude was lightened a little bit when I gave TG her book of photos from her wedding, which arrived in the mail yesterday.

She cried a lot and smudged her makeup. It was adorable. She really liked it a lot, so that was good. But the rest of the day has pretty much been a bust.

I ate lobster bisque at Pixie & Bills for lunch, and it has been threatening to revisit me ever since. I usually love it, but today it is not particularly friendly. I would like nothing better right now than to be in bed with the covers over my head.

Instead I am at work, submitting grant proposals...