Last night I couldn't sleep.. again. The bed was hard, my mind was going 100mph, .. same shit, different day. Got to sleep around 1, GM woke me up around 5:30 or 6, to come to the hospital. The doctor was supposed to come this morning, but so far (1:25 pm now) we haven't seen him.
We went down to have mom's line put in. It must have been painful, but the guy who did it was way cool. He reminded me of Pat Parelli, the horse trainer guy. Anyway she has a line now.
And now we're back to sitting here waiting for the doc. GM has a problem with her right arm being numb. She can't use it today, and she says her jaw aches. I am worried about the possibility of stroke or something cardiac, but so far she hasn't talked to the doc either.
I'll post again later, when I know more, and have pics. ;)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
Ok...
I feel much better. Muuuuuuuuuch better. I slept for hours and hours, took a shower last night AND this morning, and ate room service for dinner... I'm still tired, but I feel much better than I did last night. I'm going back to the hospital in a few hours, but I don't have to check out of the hotel for another few hours, and I am taking advantage of it.
There's not much more to report this morning, but I'll post more info as I find out. And more pictures, of course.
There's not much more to report this morning, but I'll post more info as I find out. And more pictures, of course.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Paradise
Mother (of the many failed IVs) looking at her creative memories book and reading each of her captions out loud. She is really funny sometimes. Never a dull moment, at least. I love her, even when she tortures me all day.
Paradise...
Even better... Room Service
If you had someone like this sitting in YOUR hospital room, what would YOU do? Thank God for the Hilton!
dysfunction overdrive
I can't be coherent right now, so, a list:
1) My mother is in a serious mess, and needs emergency surgery asap. She HAD to go 12 hours from home and family to have the surgery, for unexplicable reasons. In short, she has orchestrated a mess the likes of which the world has never seen, and now expects me to clean it up. I am a terrible person because it makes me unbearably angry to be in this position. No sleep, no decent food, and no help. I am desperately worried about her, and I have dropped everything in my life to come out here and help her, and somehow that is not enough.
2) My mother has gotten bored in her hospital room and is now enjoying torturing the hellfire out of me. She MUST go through all of her bills and talk about how "turrable" everything is. Oh weyull, we is jest cuntry fowks. (bleah.) She must read everything out loud, and she must spill roll-on deodorant on herself for no apparent reason. She must shout at people on the television screen. "OH! OH NO, NOOOO mister! DAHWN'T DEEEWWW TTHAYUT!!!" She must make the most annoying noises she can come up with.. whooo! whoo! Whheeeeeooohww! It is fake and unnecessary and she is doing it just to piss me off. When that stops working, she starts trying to move around like she isn't supposed to do, looking me in the eye and pulling on the side of her bed.. "uuuuuunh! UUUUUNNNHHHH!"
Why can't she just be normal for more than one day? Why can't she let me rest without making me rearrange her stuff in a drawer for the fifth time? It is especially bad when I am talking on the phone. If my attention isn't focused solely on her, she starts acting like some kind of brainless.. like a ginea. You know, those spotted chicken things with brains the size of pencil erasers.
I feel like I am being mean, but I am so exhausted and I really need a break.
3) Or whatever number I am on now. She asked me after I got off the phone with M if L was jealous of M and my friendship. I said no, and she said that he should be. Why I don't know. I think she is just trying her best to piss me off. Really, I do. Then she said that she resents L because he "won't marry me." Jeezus fucking christ, give me a fucking break. I am not some desperate old maid who has to demand that somebody marry me, or trick and coerce someone to marry me. Second, it is not her business to resent anything. She sure loved the hell of out J, who treated me like shit. No matter how many times I express to her that she is to stay out of my relationships, I still don't think she has ever fully recognized that I am not an extension of her.
4) One of the docs came in this morning and said that it might be three weeks before they can do the surgery. We should have a better time frame by Tuesday when she sees the surgeon again. If it is going to be more than a week, I am going to have to go home and come back later. I absolutely cannot do this for three weeks. The past four days have felt like four years. Maybe things will look better tomorrow. I got a room at the Hilton, where I am going to turn off the phone, take a long, hot shower, and sleep for 16 hours. Or longer.
I will definitely be posting again later... it isn't as if there is a lot to do around here. Besides sit and be tortured, that is.
1) My mother is in a serious mess, and needs emergency surgery asap. She HAD to go 12 hours from home and family to have the surgery, for unexplicable reasons. In short, she has orchestrated a mess the likes of which the world has never seen, and now expects me to clean it up. I am a terrible person because it makes me unbearably angry to be in this position. No sleep, no decent food, and no help. I am desperately worried about her, and I have dropped everything in my life to come out here and help her, and somehow that is not enough.
2) My mother has gotten bored in her hospital room and is now enjoying torturing the hellfire out of me. She MUST go through all of her bills and talk about how "turrable" everything is. Oh weyull, we is jest cuntry fowks. (bleah.) She must read everything out loud, and she must spill roll-on deodorant on herself for no apparent reason. She must shout at people on the television screen. "OH! OH NO, NOOOO mister! DAHWN'T DEEEWWW TTHAYUT!!!" She must make the most annoying noises she can come up with.. whooo! whoo! Whheeeeeooohww! It is fake and unnecessary and she is doing it just to piss me off. When that stops working, she starts trying to move around like she isn't supposed to do, looking me in the eye and pulling on the side of her bed.. "uuuuuunh! UUUUUNNNHHHH!"
Why can't she just be normal for more than one day? Why can't she let me rest without making me rearrange her stuff in a drawer for the fifth time? It is especially bad when I am talking on the phone. If my attention isn't focused solely on her, she starts acting like some kind of brainless.. like a ginea. You know, those spotted chicken things with brains the size of pencil erasers.
I feel like I am being mean, but I am so exhausted and I really need a break.
3) Or whatever number I am on now. She asked me after I got off the phone with M if L was jealous of M and my friendship. I said no, and she said that he should be. Why I don't know. I think she is just trying her best to piss me off. Really, I do. Then she said that she resents L because he "won't marry me." Jeezus fucking christ, give me a fucking break. I am not some desperate old maid who has to demand that somebody marry me, or trick and coerce someone to marry me. Second, it is not her business to resent anything. She sure loved the hell of out J, who treated me like shit. No matter how many times I express to her that she is to stay out of my relationships, I still don't think she has ever fully recognized that I am not an extension of her.
4) One of the docs came in this morning and said that it might be three weeks before they can do the surgery. We should have a better time frame by Tuesday when she sees the surgeon again. If it is going to be more than a week, I am going to have to go home and come back later. I absolutely cannot do this for three weeks. The past four days have felt like four years. Maybe things will look better tomorrow. I got a room at the Hilton, where I am going to turn off the phone, take a long, hot shower, and sleep for 16 hours. Or longer.
I will definitely be posting again later... it isn't as if there is a lot to do around here. Besides sit and be tortured, that is.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
NYYARRRE+GGGH!!!++
Ok, I am just having one of those days. For instance, every word in that first sentence had to be typed at least twice to get it right. Meh. Everything has pissed me off, but not overtly.. just enough to make me a little bitchy. But just bitchy to myself, not bitchy out loud. Which is really worse, if you happen to be inside my head, which I do happen to be.
That made no sense.
Whatever.
Some days I should just roll over and go back to sleep.
That made no sense.
Whatever.
Some days I should just roll over and go back to sleep.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Neighborhood Party..
Last night was our first neighborhood party.. It was... interesting. Nice people, but all older than us.. Even if not physically older, they were very much mentally older. If that makes sense.
There was dancing, but the only dance anyone knew was the electric slide. If that gives you any idea. It was okay, but not as much fun as I expected.
This morning I am just being lazy and checking ebay to see if I won the stuff I am bidding on. Looks like I will get both items. I may practice my guitar some, finish doing the laundry, but not much else.
There was dancing, but the only dance anyone knew was the electric slide. If that gives you any idea. It was okay, but not as much fun as I expected.
This morning I am just being lazy and checking ebay to see if I won the stuff I am bidding on. Looks like I will get both items. I may practice my guitar some, finish doing the laundry, but not much else.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Look at This Guy..
Toby is terribly cute. He has pretty blue eyes...
This is Jasper, the Percheron we went to see yesterday. He may be coming to live with Abi..
This is the Monster, of course. Enjoying the sunroom.
Toby again.. He's such a cool horse..
This is Jasper, the Percheron we went to see yesterday. He may be coming to live with Abi..
This is the Monster, of course. Enjoying the sunroom.
Toby again.. He's such a cool horse..
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Horse Crazy Again
I don't think you ever outgrow it. Once a horse gets under your skin, he stays there. Here's my pics from this weekend: 
My friend, Joy, just got this handsome boy. He's a thoroughbred, and he was started as a racehorse. He's afraid of the starting gate, but will make an excellent show horse. Joy got the deal of the year on him, too. Lucky.
This is Regan, M's mustang draft horse.
This guy just might be my new horse, at some point. He's a Medicine Hat Tobiano, and his eyes are very, very blue.
Here's Roadie, just before he started trying to eat my hat.
My friend, Joy, just got this handsome boy. He's a thoroughbred, and he was started as a racehorse. He's afraid of the starting gate, but will make an excellent show horse. Joy got the deal of the year on him, too. Lucky.
This is Regan, M's mustang draft horse.
This guy just might be my new horse, at some point. He's a Medicine Hat Tobiano, and his eyes are very, very blue. 
Here's Roadie, just before he started trying to eat my hat.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Misery Loves Coffee
I have a splitting headache and a sore throat. This is not unusual. I usually wake up feeling like this, as a matter of fact, and I am altogether sick and tired of it. I checked WebMD and according to that, I have 95% of the symptoms of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD).. the heartburn, the fizz sensation in the back of my throat, the bloated feeling, the chronic cough.. I've though that this was allergies since November, and I think part of it is/was related to my usual allergy issues, but this is ridiculous.
And it's different from the usual allergy issue.. so I think it has to be something different. I am going to try Prilosec and see if it helps. Hopefully it will and I won't feel so crappy anymore. According to WebMD, I am also not supposed to drink coffee anymore (as I type this, I am sucking down the only cup I am allowing myself this morning).
And so this blog moves on to the more mental aspect this morning. I talked to Mom again for a few minutes last night. She is always either just coming back from physical therapy, and therefore miserable, when I call, or she is asleep and sounding like she's drunk. I understand that she just had surgery and that's par for the course, but I do wish I could figure out when the good, lucid time to call is.
I am going out to the farm where M is keeping his horses now, to check on them and take a few pictures for him. Then I am coming back here, and L and I are going to the old house to do some work and then go to Sam's for dogfood and our other usual truckload of groceries. Man, that man loves Sam's Club. He cracks me up.
He is outside right now in a holy pair of jeans that shows the barest little section of his red Winter Wizard boxer shorts. He hasn't done his hair lately, so he has a fuzzy head. He is weilding his new weed eater against the brush down by the creek, determined to have it out of there before the guys come to start working on the new fence he is having put up for the dogs. He is dreadfully cute.
Last night we watched Bewitched, btw.. If you haven't seen it, don't waste your time. They took an idea that could have been a really cute movie and turned it into garbage. The male lead (Will Ferrel, I think) sucked mightily in his role as a washed up movie star who is now doing TV to try and salvage his career. Nicole Kidman was cute, but watching this movie, it was obvious that she had nothing to work with. In fact I was a little embarrassed for her, having the world know that she was in such a crappy movie. Could have been a lot better. A LOT better.
Anyway.. I have the antidote to crappy movie-dom sitting on the counter now.. the Special Edition DVD of Office Space. : D
And so now I must go and get dressed, make a few phone calls, and hit the road so I can go see the horses. I'll probably post pics later.
And it's different from the usual allergy issue.. so I think it has to be something different. I am going to try Prilosec and see if it helps. Hopefully it will and I won't feel so crappy anymore. According to WebMD, I am also not supposed to drink coffee anymore (as I type this, I am sucking down the only cup I am allowing myself this morning).
And so this blog moves on to the more mental aspect this morning. I talked to Mom again for a few minutes last night. She is always either just coming back from physical therapy, and therefore miserable, when I call, or she is asleep and sounding like she's drunk. I understand that she just had surgery and that's par for the course, but I do wish I could figure out when the good, lucid time to call is.
I am going out to the farm where M is keeping his horses now, to check on them and take a few pictures for him. Then I am coming back here, and L and I are going to the old house to do some work and then go to Sam's for dogfood and our other usual truckload of groceries. Man, that man loves Sam's Club. He cracks me up.
He is outside right now in a holy pair of jeans that shows the barest little section of his red Winter Wizard boxer shorts. He hasn't done his hair lately, so he has a fuzzy head. He is weilding his new weed eater against the brush down by the creek, determined to have it out of there before the guys come to start working on the new fence he is having put up for the dogs. He is dreadfully cute.
Last night we watched Bewitched, btw.. If you haven't seen it, don't waste your time. They took an idea that could have been a really cute movie and turned it into garbage. The male lead (Will Ferrel, I think) sucked mightily in his role as a washed up movie star who is now doing TV to try and salvage his career. Nicole Kidman was cute, but watching this movie, it was obvious that she had nothing to work with. In fact I was a little embarrassed for her, having the world know that she was in such a crappy movie. Could have been a lot better. A LOT better.
Anyway.. I have the antidote to crappy movie-dom sitting on the counter now.. the Special Edition DVD of Office Space. : D
And so now I must go and get dressed, make a few phone calls, and hit the road so I can go see the horses. I'll probably post pics later.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
busy as usual
Today was crazy.. heat and hunger and presentations and running at 95mph in the slow lane in 4 inch high heels. Today was a day of big scores, though. I had a huge award come in for one of my people at work, so that was major. I worked so damn hard on that proposal, and to get it awarded is a major success. I made a good contact with a certain agency today. Made friends with a few people whose friendship I will need in the future.
I also got contacted to do some studio work for some local musicians.. that means getting paid to sing, which I would gladly do for free. Life is good. I also met some more of the new neighbors. Cool people, and I think I will continue to love it here.
Went shopping for my mother today.. Hope she doesn't hate the clothes I picked out. I tried to keep her tastes (lace collars and rosebuds, etc ad nauseaum) in mind, but ended up picking things that I like in the end. Soft lounge pants with turtles on them, yoga pants, old navy t-shirts. She's needing clothes for physical therapy, things she can move in. Anyway, hope she doesn't hate them. We'll see. Tomorrow I'll fed ex em.
L is watching TV, and I really could stand to go to bed. But I think I'll go play my guitar for a few minutes before I do. Then.. sleep as late as possible and go to work in jeans and a t-shirt. Somtimes It's just a necessity.
I also got contacted to do some studio work for some local musicians.. that means getting paid to sing, which I would gladly do for free. Life is good. I also met some more of the new neighbors. Cool people, and I think I will continue to love it here.
Went shopping for my mother today.. Hope she doesn't hate the clothes I picked out. I tried to keep her tastes (lace collars and rosebuds, etc ad nauseaum) in mind, but ended up picking things that I like in the end. Soft lounge pants with turtles on them, yoga pants, old navy t-shirts. She's needing clothes for physical therapy, things she can move in. Anyway, hope she doesn't hate them. We'll see. Tomorrow I'll fed ex em.
L is watching TV, and I really could stand to go to bed. But I think I'll go play my guitar for a few minutes before I do. Then.. sleep as late as possible and go to work in jeans and a t-shirt. Somtimes It's just a necessity.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Anyone Need a New Dog?
My friend A has 11 new dogs. Anyone need a new pet???
They are SO cute!
Harmony and her 11 new puppies!
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