dysfunction overdrive

I can't be coherent right now, so, a list:
1) My mother is in a serious mess, and needs emergency surgery asap. She HAD to go 12 hours from home and family to have the surgery, for unexplicable reasons. In short, she has orchestrated a mess the likes of which the world has never seen, and now expects me to clean it up. I am a terrible person because it makes me unbearably angry to be in this position. No sleep, no decent food, and no help. I am desperately worried about her, and I have dropped everything in my life to come out here and help her, and somehow that is not enough.
2) My mother has gotten bored in her hospital room and is now enjoying torturing the hellfire out of me. She MUST go through all of her bills and talk about how "turrable" everything is. Oh weyull, we is jest cuntry fowks. (bleah.) She must read everything out loud, and she must spill roll-on deodorant on herself for no apparent reason. She must shout at people on the television screen. "OH! OH NO, NOOOO mister! DAHWN'T DEEEWWW TTHAYUT!!!" She must make the most annoying noises she can come up with.. whooo! whoo! Whheeeeeooohww! It is fake and unnecessary and she is doing it just to piss me off. When that stops working, she starts trying to move around like she isn't supposed to do, looking me in the eye and pulling on the side of her bed.. "uuuuuunh! UUUUUNNNHHHH!"
Why can't she just be normal for more than one day? Why can't she let me rest without making me rearrange her stuff in a drawer for the fifth time? It is especially bad when I am talking on the phone. If my attention isn't focused solely on her, she starts acting like some kind of brainless.. like a ginea. You know, those spotted chicken things with brains the size of pencil erasers.
I feel like I am being mean, but I am so exhausted and I really need a break.
3) Or whatever number I am on now. She asked me after I got off the phone with M if L was jealous of M and my friendship. I said no, and she said that he should be. Why I don't know. I think she is just trying her best to piss me off. Really, I do. Then she said that she resents L because he "won't marry me." Jeezus fucking christ, give me a fucking break. I am not some desperate old maid who has to demand that somebody marry me, or trick and coerce someone to marry me. Second, it is not her business to resent anything. She sure loved the hell of out J, who treated me like shit. No matter how many times I express to her that she is to stay out of my relationships, I still don't think she has ever fully recognized that I am not an extension of her.
4) One of the docs came in this morning and said that it might be three weeks before they can do the surgery. We should have a better time frame by Tuesday when she sees the surgeon again. If it is going to be more than a week, I am going to have to go home and come back later. I absolutely cannot do this for three weeks. The past four days have felt like four years. Maybe things will look better tomorrow. I got a room at the Hilton, where I am going to turn off the phone, take a long, hot shower, and sleep for 16 hours. Or longer.
I will definitely be posting again later... it isn't as if there is a lot to do around here. Besides sit and be tortured, that is.