It's funny how sometimes you can sit in the middle of your own life and feel like a total stranger. All of the people and things you normally feel so ..part of.. are suddenly sort of alien, and you really wonder if you ever were part of anything. If any of these people, including the one I care about the most, would really even change their daily routine if tomorrow I wasn't there.
Bullshit poor-me crap. I know. There's no need to tell me. Tomorrow I can chalk this up to the alcohol talking and forget that I ever wrote it. It's not like there is any reason for it.
The reality is that tomorrow I will blame it on the alcohol and never tell a soul that it's really always in the back of my head.
I am not asking for a committment from anyone. I'd just like to know every once in a while that something I do or say matters to someone besides myself. That somewhere someone makes their plans with me in mind the way I do with them.
God, you know, one day I really hope I outgrow this little girl pollyanna bullshit. It really is a pain in the ass.
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3 comments:
i guess we all feel lik that some or atually most of the time.. ur opinion matters 2 me.. i check 2 see if u wrote sumthing everytime i can... x0x0x0x0x muffin head
me too, i love you and i always know that you will listen to my BS and not judge me, or at least know where it comes from.And yes, it is true, we all fell like that sometimes!
You're spelling's horrendous ..... you have no composition skills .... and ... and ... oh ... wait ... I thought I was on the Support for ExJws site .... LOL
This is the Briannon Blog thing .... let me read it .... hmmmm.....
Anyways .... this is Neil Diamond and .... I can sorta relate to the feelings you express in these two latest entries .... and I think most people can . Most just lack the time or effort or don't use the outlet of the internet to vent in a place where others can see these kind of thoughts.
One thing I find myself doing .... which I waste too much time on is .... rewinding my life and going back and fixing everything I did wrong --- doing the things I wished I had done ---righting the wrongs --- meeting the people I wished to meet --- ignoring the ones I should have ignored --- getting the job I should have gotten --- going the places I should have gone ... etc etc etc .
I spend too much time dwelling on the past and wasting time in thought. And sometimes I think it even affects your present mood.
Anyways ..... carry on .... carry on ..... ( BTW .... I saw Neil Diamond in Philly on Friday and .... it was probably one of the most enthusiastic crowds I ever saw. )
" You are the sun .... I am the moon ,
You are the words .... I am the tune,
Play me ..... "
( Thats his lyrics ... taint mine )
Have fun :0
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