Monday, October 23, 2006

Just All Right

While working out at the gym during my lunch break, something occurred to me. I don't know what thought preceded this one other than the usual "I'm tired, I want my lunch, and why the heck do I do this to myself again?" Well, actually it became a series of thoughts, sort of a tying together of all of my recent little revelations about myself and the error of my ways.

First of all, I'm really okay the way I am. There is no need for me to go back to the ridiculous crash dieting and general insanity that I have been trudging back into over the last few months. I need to do two things: accept that there isn't anything wrong with me and be healthy. Work out every day, but don't be an idiot about it. Seems like I would have learned that already.

The second thing that occurred to me is that other people's opinions don't really matter. What matters are God's opinion and your own opinion, in that order and in rapid succession.

If God isn't okay with you, you will have no peace (and believe me, he has a way of letting you know. And no, it is nothing like you think). If you can't live with yourself, you will have no peace. Everything else is just a waste of your valuable time and energy.

So.. for me the big deal has been finding my "I."

It's very sad to me how many women live their whole lives with no idea of what they think or what they want or what the point is. Just taking the path of least resistance with no idea of why they are unhappy, and teaching their kids how to do the same, ad infinitum, the end.

Aha. Peace about something that has bothered me for quite some time.

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