Rain

After months of waiting for it to rain, it chooses NOW.. when I have free time to go riding, to hang out with Trigger, to do all the outdoor things I want to do.. Looks like this whole weekend is a bust for riding altogether. Trigger is going to forget what I look like. :-(

But the house will be clean. :-)

Last night was a first in our house. I burned our dinner. I made Cassoulet Stuffed Bread with hot sausage, swiss cheese, parmesan cheese, onions, thyme, bay leaves, and carrots.. but I left it under the broiler (550.. yikes!) for about 2 minutes too long and the top layer was black. Still, it must not have been terrible.. L went back for seconds.

Tonight: Citrus Glazed Chicken with Arugula Orange Salad.

I just took MonsterHead to the vet for his annual checkup. He was furious about being put in his carrier, and even more furious about being given shots and stuff. He yowled like a banshee all the way to and from the vet, and he is still stalking around the house on his little eraser toes uttering feline curses under his breath. He has gained 2 pounds in the last two months (which would be roughly equivalent to me gaining 30) and is nudging the "morbidly obese" mark.

Right now he has his head buried in the food dish. Guess I'd better remove the kitty buffet before he gains another few pounds.

I think L and I are going to check out the after Christmas sales today, and attempt to locate a decent fake Christmas tree at a decent price. Then we are going to the movies. :-)

Later: More Cleaning...
NP Update: Before Christmas I bought gasoline for a co-worker who is (supposedly) hurting in the financial department. Bonus points for being a co-worker I am not overly crazy about. I'm trying. Latest NP project: a care package for a dear friend whose kitchen is severely lacking in tools, dishes, pots and pans, etc. I have more than I could ever use, with more on the way for the wedding.. so I am making a package of the nicer and more useful things that aren't being used in my kitchen for him. Hopefully it will be well received..

More Christmas Madness

...and the Madness commenced..

T got a cute new puppy though..

Today I went and got my nails fixed (by the time we arrived back from Tallahassee, I had ripped all of the acrylic off and chewed my nails to ugly little nubs. Back to square one for me!). Now my fingers are sore, but at least I don't look like I crammed my hands through a meat grinder anymore.

Guess it's obvious that I don't handle stress well, isn't it?

I went to the BW today but didn't find ANYTHING. There was nothing there today but a huge pile of junk. I will have to try again later.

L and I went grocery shopping, which was something of an adventure. He has been in a mood ever since we got back because my menu/grocery list for the week (which we have been talking about doing for quite some time, mind you) disrupted his usual grocery shopping routine.

He mellowed a little when he tried my shepherd's pie (ground turkey, bacon, roasted red peppers, onions, carrots, celery, peas, etc etc etc topped with sour cream mashed potatoes and broiled) in my new Rachael Ray orange casserole pot. Yay. Yum-O, etc. It was ridiculously good. I even froze an extra one for later. :-)

Tomorrow: Who knows? If the weather holds, I'll be going to see Trigger!

Merry Christmas!

It's already been a great one, and we still have a long way to go. :-) Here's L with one of his gifts.. Isn't he cute?? I think he likes it, what do you think?

Here I am opening my favorite present so far.. a silver 80G iPod!!! I have always wanted one, and L got me one for Christmas!

Here I am downloading all of my music.. Yay!
Here's L with his favorite gift from me.. an upconverting DVD player. He is hard to buy gifts for, but he is really good at buying gifts for me, apparently! In addition to the iPod, he gave me 2 Ralph Lauren shirts, a beautiful Cashmere sweater, and two of the lotions from Body Shop that I love. :-)
Now we are at the in-laws' and pretty soon it will be present time again...
Later: Overeating and lots more fun!

The Christmas Condo

Here's where we're staying. :-) It's excellent!

Off to Tallahassee

Well, it's off to see the imminent future in-laws tomorrow for Christmas..
Should be some good pictures when we get back. :-)

Trigger got some new shoes today. M and his new girlfriend stopped by for a visit this afternoon, which was great. We never get to see him anymore since he lives so far away. And we went to A-Town to have dinner with F and PR, etc.

I am tired now, and anticipating 7-8 hours in the car with 2 100-lb dogs, a carful of luggage, plus Presents galore! It will be a long day.

And while we are posting pictures...

I schould schay that these schtriped schorts are fah.. pfabuloush!
Yes, it is my L in his inebriated college days! With hair! :-D

Isn't this great?

Here we have L before I met him...
He still wears that shirt, but not the glasses.
For some reason, I really like this picture though...

I (heart) Christmas

Make Me Sick

Yes, folks, it is true: I make me sick.
I can't seem to slow down long enough to get well, so I have been staying sick. Add pressure on top of the pressure, why don't I?? Who wants to have a runny nose at their wedding? Certainly not me.

Because of the wedding and the myriad other things I have going on, I am stressed out big time. Because of the stress, I am having problems at work. Because there are problems at work and stress everywhere, including work, I feel angry and exhausted and...

To be perfectly honest, I feel like a toxic waste dump under siege these days. (Barbarians at the gates! Bone melting nuclear waste streaming in from all directions! Agh!)

Of course people say that one day I will look back on this and laugh. I'll laugh NOW; let's see YOU hold up under this kind of pressure, Big Shot!

To top it all off, I think my medication makes me aggressive under stress.. or at least amplifies that side of my nature more than usual. I definitely need a physical outlet more than I used to. So I got up this morning and worked out. Hopefully today will be at least marginally better than yesterday.

At least I got to see Trigger yesterday. He is so cute and fluffy now! He does not like my whinnying horse ringtone on my cell phone though. Apparently whatever the phone-horse is saying, them's fightin words! (Note to self: turn cell phone off at the barn!)

Later: Christmas cards! Packing! More wedding stuff! Oh My!

So Much to Say

Wow, i have been so busy in the past few weeks!
I have also been sick. Funny thing.. the doctor can give you all the medicine in the world, but it isn't going to help if you don't ever stop to rest. I'm still a little sick, to tell the truth, but there's too much to do to quit.

I was out of work on Friday, slept all day, got nothing done. I haven't been to see Trigger this weekend, but with a 30-degree wind chill factor right now, and the remnants of the flu or whatever, I don't think that is a good idea today.

Also, the house is a disaster and I still have Christmas shopping to do.
Not to mention laundry. And wedding stuff. Don't even get me started on wedding stuff.
Sent out the rehearsal dinner invitations yesterday. Got one more round of invitations to get off, and then it's on to the thank you notes.

And Christmas cards. Oh yeah.
Later: FSU Christmas party this evening...

Our First Shower..

Our first wedding shower was yesterday, at Mr. B's house. A great time was had by all.
The best gifts of the night were an "Island of Misfit Toys" ornament from AC, and two huge concrete gargoyles from CJ & R. :-)

In other news, I am feeling pretty crappy from the creeping crud that has crept up again. I think it is definitely a sinus infection already, and is probably working its way into bronchitis again before it's over with.. maybe even an ear infection thrown in for good measure. Bleh.

I hate being sick, and the more stressed I get, the sicker I stay.
I need to slow down. And I need to get this list of stuff done, too. Hard to do both. Very, very hard. I did get a lot done this weekend though.

Tomorrow: Back to work with the new schedule. Also, HOA board meeting.. O Joy.

Literally Thousands of Words..

Here we are at the little Italian place where we took Mom and GF for lunch. It was quite a production to get there, but it was worth it. GF, Me, West, and Mom..
Here are GF and Mom while I was working on the shed. Unbeknownst to me, the giant fat cat was sneaking into my car while I was taking this picture. Apparently he wanted a vacation. :-)

Mom was overjoyed to be riding on the golf cart, outside. It was a very hard visit this time, because she doesn't realize that she isn't going to get any better, and GF and GM are working waaaay too hard for two elderly people to keep everything going. Something has to happen there. But if I am to be the "agent of change" then it will have to wait until AFTER the wedding.

But after that, Clean Sweep, Here We Come!
Here we have West and Brie, his new girlfriend. She is AWESOME!! XJW, so she understands his issues, funny as heck, so they goof off together all the time, and ... as you can see, she is so cute! I love her and I hope they stay together. I haven't seen two people so perfect for each other in a while. Oh yeah, a nd they are coming to the wedding. :-)
Here I am at the Grove Park Inn, riding in Santa's Sleigh. Grove Park was beautiful.. I wish I could take L and go there for a weekend! He would love it!
There was a gingerbread house competition going on while we were there, and there were some fantastic creations!! These are only a few of them, and you can't see them very well.. but they were cool.

Ah, so. In other news:

1) I filed another police report in response to "Roy's" latest shenanigan. I don't need this stress on top of everything else. If he keeps ramping it up like he has been, he is going to end up in jail. I will not tolerate anymore of this.

2) Had an appointment with a life coach. That was interesting. Basically affirmation of everything i have been working on in my life lately.

3) I went to see Trigger yesterday evening for a little while. I miss him. I don't get to see him enough. He is all fuzzy and warm. I just brushed him and petted him for an hour, and then came home. L made spaghetti. Yum.

4) Weighed in this morning at 120 lb. Haven't seen that number in a long time. I need to start working out and eating more again. I think this is enough weight loss for me..

Today: Going to get the marriage license!
Appointment with the DJ to finalize music for the reception!

I'm back and..

..the situation is normal.

A million things to do.
A-ville was really nice.. and I met a life coach. That's an interesting blog for another day, though.

We got another wedding gift in the mail... It's a Waterford serving platter. It is so beautiful! Wow. I am blown away by the generosity of our friends. I never expected this.. I only put the expensive stuff on the registry so that we could get 20% off after the wedding. Never expected that anyone would buy it for us.
I plan to buy thank you cards tomorrow, because we need to start sending them out very soon.

Got another ridiculous communication from "Roy." This man is a real freak. Seriously, it is getting frightening. I almost had a heart attack this evening when some kid selling magazines rang the bell. This situation cannot stand.


For now, L and I just watched the Heroes finale. Tomorrow I might go see Trigger after work. And then... on to another adventure. Pictures from Grove Park Inn tomorrow!

Off to See the Wizard

Ok, I am heading out to North Carolina..
I am sure to have one helluvan update when I return. It should be an interesting visit, anyway.
I probably won't be on the internet for the next few days, though.

So Strange..

Ok. This is just too weird to make sense. I have to make a list out of it all to even make sense of it.

1) My mother is mental. That's all there is to it. She wrote a letter to L that is absolutely sickening. If there were ever any bad decision, any family dysfunction, any sordid little detail that I wanted to keep to myself.... well SO MUCH FOR THAT! She spilled her guts about every negative thing she could think of about me.. including details about stuff that happened 10-15 years ago. All of this is followed by an explanation of how SHE didn't raise me to be "that way" and that IIIIII made all the BAD decisions myself. L doesn't care about any of that crap, least of all the healthy dose of religious fanaticism that came along with it. Oh, and of COURSE there was the "Thankyew for marrying my damaged goods daughter" crap as well.. though not in those exact words. The message was pretty clear. I am pretty steamed about it, to be honest. Can you tell?

2) Speaking of mental cases, I sent "Roy" his cease and desist order today, via Certified Mail. We'll see what happens with that.

3) I got L's wedding present in the mail today!! It is so beautiful, and I can't wait to give it to him! :-D

4) I saw an ad at Wendy's today that said something like "If you want to see the difference between Fresh Beef and frozen beef, try one of our burgers!" I appended: "Then you can compare that cardboard taste to Fresh Beef, and see the difference!" This was the Wendy's that spelled "jalapeno" like JOLAPANO on the sign out front.

5) I am in Columbia right now with my boss, and I have to teach a class tomorrow. Then it's back home, another day of working, and then Asheville. I really could use a break...

Also: Check the wedding blog for a small update...

Thoughts on a Sunday

There is a Monster under my Christmas Tree.


Besides that, I have a list of thoughts:

1) Insanity = Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. In a hard life situation, eventually you will get sick of the situation and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Until then, there is nothing anyone can do for you, and NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE.

2) Do you ever feel like a dumping ground for emotional nuclear waste? The people (notice that this is plural) who do the dumping walk away feeling better, having let off enough steam that they don't feel the need to TAKE ANY ACTION, and the listener ends up feeling stressed, and ultimately like THEY DON'T HAVE ANY VALUE because no one ever listens to them. I realize that I have been both the dumper and the dump-ee.

3) Why is it that we all think we are ALONE and the ONLY ONES who UNDERSTAND what we're going through? Do we all really think that we're that unique? Maybe if we took the blinders off every once in a while, we'd see that there are only infinite variations on a very few common themes.

4) I have been on the computer all day. Time to go play something else.

Oh, and it's COLD outside.

Jingle Jingle

Today started out with a trip to Lowe's to find our perfect tree:
Note the big green "tree condom." It doesn't keep needles off the floor, but it makes getting the thing out the door at the end of the season a whole lot easier. :-D
Here's L preparing to string our new c-9 LED lights. Multi-colored! Retro! Fabulous!

And of course, yours truly.. getting ready to decorate, decorate, decorate!

"Merry merry already! Where's my martini?"

L says that the top of the tree looks like it exploded now. I happen to like my sparkly silver thingies, and they do hide the cords and plugs from the lights rather well.. Now all I need is a few little finishing touches...

And a Good Time Was Had By All

Here I am, playing Martha Stewart..

Dinner was great!! And we had a really fun group. Here are some of us after dessert:
PR looks justifiably terrified...
It was the best Thanksgiving ever!

Later: Trigger!!!

Meeting Up With the Past

Last night I had to go meet J to sign over his car title. He finally paid it off. He has no further influence over my credit whatsoever now. It's really all over and done. Finally. Hallelujah.

I ended up talking to him for about 45 minutes or so. He is still quite a talker. But it was really strange. It was almost as if we were still friends and none of the other crap had ever happened. I realized something last night. Several somethings actually:

1) He is and has always been a serial dater. He will never be happy in a committed relationship. He has gone back to his old habits, and obviously that's who he has always been. Just proves my theory that we really should never have gotten married at all. This is why I am an advocate of premarital counseling, y'all.

2) He is and has always been something of a boor. But you know what? There has to be a place in the world for boors, and he has finally found his niche. That's cool. I think back when I was young and stupid, the only men I knew were intolerable boors, and I didn't know there were any different men. I didn't get to spend enough time with my father to see what a man is supposed to be like. I just got enough "daddy" to feel lacking and incomplete most of the time. But that's another subject. If I had known then what I know now... well I wouldn't have made a lot of the mistakes I made.

3) I cannot for the life of me figure out what I ever saw in that man. He is okay as a person, very funny, and is probably great at his job (computer training for Russians? I think? lol).. but put him side by side with L and ... WOW. There is no comparison. None. L is a whole 'nother level, as my sister would say. J is amusing. J is charismatic as ever. J is not particularly interesting. He is not attractive to me in the least. And he could never, ever compete with L in any arena anywhere.

He did say that he saw the engagement announcement, and that he liked our picture. Nice of him to say, and proves to me that whaddaya know, he HAS grown up a bit. He asked about PR and said to tell him hello (aside to PR: He said that "Cabbage Head always was kinda crazy.") He's also going to email me his documentation of harassment by "Roy" for my growing file.

Speaking of which... I have crafted a "cease and desist order" and will be sending that out as soon as I have specific dates for the remaining 3 of the 13 complaints listed therein. More on that later.

I also had dinner with LJ, CJ, and MS last night at the Pub. It was good to see them all again. Missed Mr. B and Fred though.

Later: "Get in the kitchen and make me a PIE!"

Funniest Thing I Heard Yesterday:

"All my life there has been a Hermit inside of me just waiting to ...stay in, I guess."
--CJ

What Do You Say About "The Man" ??

Just gotta say it.

L is the most incredible man I have ever met.

Sure he has his moments.. who doesn't? But occasional bad moods notwithstanding.. he is the kindest, sweetest, most considerate, thoughtful, and generally awesome person I have ever known. I can't believe I got this lucky.

Why is he so awesome?

Because he listens to what I have to say, even if he doesn't agree.
Because even when we do disagree on something, we always treat each other with respect.
Because he never yells unless he's watching football.
Because he pays attention to other people and tries to do things that will make them happy.
Because he is unselfish.
Because he loves children.. and wants to have his with me.
Because he doesn't cheat, ever. Not even at cards.
Because he trusts me and believes in my ability to do things well.
Because I trust him.
Because he is honest even when it's not what I want to hear.
Because he's SO cute!

Because.. I could go on for the next 50 years, and probably will. :-)

Makes me think of my friends Mr B and L'il B, who are still madly in love with each other after 30-something years of marriage. L and I will be like that, I think.. because after 3 1/2 years together, it's already getting better as time goes by. Different, but better.

Could it be that I have finally figured out what love is supposed to be like? Maybe.

Right now it feels like winning the lottery to me.

Another Day at the Barn..

I had a great day, as you can tell..

This is me and D helping M get his wet boots off. It took all three of us, but we finally did it. M looked so cool in his waders.. we all said he looked like an overgrown leprechaun with a chainsaw in them. Everybody liked my Brunswick stew, too. Then Trigger and I went for a ride with A and Tardy and their dog, Z. It was fun. :-)

When I got home, I had another myspace message from "Roy" telling me he knows my wedding date, and not to have any children because of what a horrible mother I will be. What a ****ing moron.

But that's fine. I am documenting everything. All I have to do is put up with another couple weeks of this and then I will just have his slovenly, drug-using butt arrested. Maybe spending Christmas in the slammer would convince him that I am not a worthy object of his attentions? I can only hope.

See, here's the thing: Real friends would never do this to someone, even if you had a falling out. Take A for instance. We might be upset with each other, but she nor I would ever do something like that to one another. She was a real friend.. and I am still sorry for the loss, even though there was nothing I could do about it (principle of the thing, ya know).

Real friends respect you, like L. They can disagree without being nasty or confrontational, like PR. They make you smile like F. They tell you the truth like AC and CJ and R, even when it's not really what you want to hear. And a real friend would respect your wish not to talk about something.. or to them.. if you didn't want to.

This situation with Roy also makes me think seriously about something I never believed before: The decisions you make when you're a teen or in your early 20s.. even something as trivial as who to go out on a date with... can have serious repercussions and shock waves for years to come. In short, some decisions you make will come back and bite you in the ass every chance they get. Take it from someone who has learned it the hard way.

You Be the Judge

I ask you, is this the face of a nut magnet? Someone who attracts crazy people?

At least, it is not the face of someone interesting enough to merit a decade-long obsession. Seriously.

At the risk of compromising the objectivity of my ethical question posts (snort!), I will admit that "Roy" is a real situation that I am really facing. He called L today. I am furious.

I don't know what he thinks he will say to L. I imagine that it will be the same speech he gave to J, long ago and far away. I'm sure he thinks that there is something he can say to L to make him not love me, or if that doesn't work, he will start making threats.

I find it unbelievable that someone who knew me for three months when I was 20 thinks that he knows more about me than the frikkin Love of my Life! The only upshot of this is that the idiot forgot to *67 or whatever, and now I have proof that it was him who called. I also have his address now, and thus so do the police. :-) I'm not playing with this nut. He needs to leave me alone.

But..
I am starting to understand why the freaks have congregated around me my entire life. And they have.. There was A, the serial JW dater. There was JN, the tortured comic book artist who was very gay and very much in denial. There was C, who didn't eat normal food and couldn't be "in love" with anyone who liked him back. There was R, who honestly thought that he was the second coming of Jesus Christ. There was the Awful Fact, who thought she could manipulate me into becoming a lesbian and running away with her, and who honestly believed that she could control the entire world through sorcery using a wooden spoon with a Star of David drawn on it and the contents of her spice rack. There was J, who thought no one else in the world had ever seen a war movie, and who at the age of 25 actually burst into tears because I wouldn't buy him a 1953-model car that wouldn't run.. never mind that we couldn't afford the house payment at the time.

I am sure that there are more. The point is that not everyone deserves a chance. Not everyone who wants to be in your life should be allowed to. Some people are batty. Some are crazy. And some are downright dangerous. It's okay to be pleasant to everyone you meet. It's okay to be civil. It is not okay to let some nutcase glom onto your life and suck you into a quagmire of spiraling bullsh!t just because they "want to be your friend."

You should choose your friends, and carefully! Don't let just anyone become your friends, just because they happen to be present and willing. No one is better than some people. Just saying.

Tomorrow: Trail Cleanup Day with Trigger!
Later: The Good Friends: What do you like about the people you hang out with??? What do you add to one another's lives? Think about it...

Office Space Remix

One of my favorite movie scenes of all time is the one in Office Space, where the guys beat the crap out of the office fax machine. I really feel like I could do that to my printer right now.

I am working late, as usual, and trying to print something long and important. My printer is pausing to groom itself, lick its chops, sniff the door jambs, and take a bathroom break between each page. It's almost like it KNOWS I really need to leave right now.

In other news, I'm gearing up for another busy weekend.. including:
1) CHristmas Shopping!
2) Oil change for the old bucket of bolts
3) Meeting of the minds regarding the HOA social committee
4) The Gigantic Work Day at the Barn, all day Saturday, complete with chainsaws, Brunswick Stew, and cornbread! Yeehaw!
5) Mailing wedding invitations, at last!
6) And then some...

Ethical Question: What would you do?

Yes, it's another one. And this one, like the last, is purely for discussion purposes, with no real or implied relation to any existent situation. Ok.

So let's say that you made some big mistakes in your life. Let's say that you used to hang out with the wrong crowd; criminals, druggie types, panhandlers, pickpockets, loose women, etc. That was many years ago, and since then, you've cleaned up your act and worked very hard to make your way into a respectable station in life. You are not at all proud of your past actions or associations, and you wish to leave them as far in the past as you possibly can.

So let's say that one of your "old friends" (Let's call him Roy, shall we?) has relentlessly tracked you down through the years, to the point that your significant other refers to him as your "stalker." Now, let's say that Roy has threatened harm (and once actually did harm) to you and/or to someone you cared about in the past. And obviously, your "old friendship" ended on a sour note.

Now, a decade and some change later, Roy has contacted you again, even after being told that you don't want to talk to him. He wants to "be friends." You have refused his calls enough that he doesn't contact you by phone anymore, but now he wants to "at least be internet friends."

What would you do?
Would it make a difference if you knew that Roy had a diagnosis of mental/emotional problems, to the point of getting disability for it? What if you knew he was still on drugs?
What if, instead of continuing his drug use, Roy had gone to church and gotten "saved?"
Would it make a difference if you knew that Roy lived nearby, and not 100 miles away?
In your opinion, would being "internet friends" with Roy assuage his need to communicate with you, or would it encourage him to push for more contact?

Discuss. Rinse. Repeat. ;-)

Thought for the Day

Change is very difficult.

So is not changing.

My Plan.. Well, Framework at Least

Of course this must take the form of a list.. I am so fond of lists after all, and this is a goal-oriented list of things that..... well, you'll see.

1) As soon as the wedding is over and my insurance changes over, I am going to counseling. I need to get a few things straight before I dawdle and shrug my way through the rest of my life.

2) And then, I am going to enroll in the preparatory classes for the GMAT (yes, again, because I did such a horrible job on it the last time I took it.. That'll teach me to think I can do everything and that I don't need any help!) and the LSAT. Then I'm going to take the tests.

3) Once I pass the GMAT and the LSAT, I am going to apply to four schools that offer the combination MBA/JD degree program. I will do work-study at whichever university I end up at, in the research administration departments, to keep my experience up and to still earn money while I'm at school. L and I are going to plan the next 4 years so that I can go to school and we can start a family (maybe)..

4) And when I get out of school, I will go for the real jobs. Maybe even go into practice in grants law or audit resolution. I will make much more money than I do now, and if I play my cards right, I might not have too much debt from the student loans, either.

Of course there are things that need to be figured out. I know I will apply to USC and Wake Forest and Duke (even though I know I am not smart enough to get into Duke's Law program, no way, no how. I am nothing if not realistic). I need to find another school that isn't too far away that offers that program. Unfortunately, Clemson doesn't have a law school. Oh well.. everything can't be perfect, can it?

And now.. breakfast, and some sort of plan for the day. I'd like to go riding, but that isn't going to happen. :-( So...

Later: Who knows?

Quick List

At last I can post another list from home.. Got a lot to say but not a lot of time in which to say it. Thus the list:

1) I have a new plan. It's an ambitious plan, but it's one I need to carry out. More on that later.
2) It's great to have company come visit, but I need to make sure I am home from out of town for a few days before. I'm exhausted.
3) I have not been able to spend nearly enough time with Trigger lately. I miss him.
4) Where have all the cowboys gone? Really, does anyone know?

That's enough for now.. I promise to post something worthwhile tomorrow.

Washington...

Here are some pics I took yesterday...

Live from Our Nation's Capital...

I'd offer some commentary, but I am exhausted.
Tomorrow: More pictures, more energy....

No More Candy

And now, on to the next Holiday!

Halloween was pretty cool.. not as insanely busy as last year, but we still went through 95% of the candy we bought. Some of the kids were surly and rude, even though we were the only house with full size candy bars and ocean-themed decorations and a fog machine for their entertainment. I was surprised at the few who thought they could paw through all the candy and basically fill their pillowcases completely from our stash.. but that didn't last long. I started telling them they could only have one pretty early on.

It was funny that the greediest kids were the ones who already had so much candy they'd never be able to eat it all anyway.

We also had some incredibly cute ones.. There was a 3 year old little girl in an I Dream of Jeannie costume that was hands down the most adorable one this year. :-) Lots of people liked the mermaid costume as well.

And now I get to start working on the menu and guest list for Thanksgiving dinner...

I'm getting ready to leave for Washington DC this weekend. I'm going to a conference there with my boss. It should be interesting.. both for the conference and the fact that we have a serious discussion to attend to while we're there.

Later: Pictures from Halloween?

Also: I miss Trigger! Haven't seen him all week!

Happy Halloween!

I Feel...

So.. so... NEGATIVE.

Take it DOWN a Notch

Dear Readers:

Am I the only one who does this?

By "this" I mean taking on so many projects and responsibilities and obligations that I overwhelm myself and get burned out and depressed? I get burned out because I don't sleep enough, and I'm always on someone else's clock. I get depressed and really p.o.'d because the harder I work, the less ANYONE appreciates either me or the work I do.

Cases in point:
1) My job. 'Nuff said.
2) I have volunteered for my HOA for the past 6 months or so. It has become almost IMPOSSIBLE to get the board members to submit material for the monthly newsletter, but I am still supposed to have one every month, all printed and ready to be distributed to the 137 houses in this neighborhood, who don't care if it comes or not.
3) L and I even succumbed to the pressure and agreed to host the Halloween party for the neighborhood. It was last night. After decorating the clubhouse all day, cooking, setting up everything, and getting dressed in costumes, we sat there and watched a movie at the clubhouse by ourselves before we packed up our sh!t and went home.

(What ever convinces me to have parties? I have never had one in my entire life that was a success. I buy food and drinks, plan for weeks, work my butt off cleaning and cooking and planning and decorating, and then eat my g.d. snacks by myself. Why even bother?)

So what should I learn from this? It would be easy to just start feeling like nobody likes me. I get that distinct impression every time the party thing happens. Or I could just stop agreeing to do things for people.

I really do think that 3/4 of the people I think are my friends would disappear QUICK if I stopped buying lunch, helping them out, etc. (Though some of them may surprise me. Not sure about that..) And if that's the case.. who needs 'em?

Those of you reading this.. well most of you aren't like that. I know. I am just venting about the other 95%.

I'm going to the grocery store with L. At least he comes to all the parties. ;-)

People Suck

Seriously, some people are worthless oxygen thieves.
Why the sudden disgust for certain members of humanity?
Somebody robbed my grandmother in the hospital waiting room the other day while she was waiting for my mom to come out of surgery.

She turned her back on her purse for two minutes to talk to the doctor, and when she turned around, it was gone. Since she came up in the Depression and remembers the banks crashing, she is afraid to keep her money in the bank, and instead carries all of it with her in cash. So she lost $1,000, and I'm wondering how my grandparents and my mom can afford that. That's medicine and groceries and catfood and gas.

What kind of scumbag steals from an old lady? Much less an old lady in a hospital waiting room?
I wish I could get my hands on them, whoever they were.

But then I notice that there are articles all over the news and the internet about people targeting the elderly, stealing from them, roping them into various scams. Or stealing their purses. Grrrrrrr...

What is WRONG with these people?

I Got A Feeling..

I have a feeling that I will end my day today in the doctor's office. I probably should have called in to work today. But I didn't. I hardly ever do. I don't like feeling sick and guilty.

My future mother-in-law called me last night. It was funny. She is really sweet.

Later: A Longer Blog about... Something

New Info Over at the Wedding Blog

.. for those of you interested in seeing how the big fat wedding plans are going.. :-)

BW Finds for This Week..

.. because you KNOW you want to see what I found!

I got about 5 tee shirts for myself, plus a few long sleeved tops by American Eagle and an angora sweater, and a pair of pants from the Gap that are size 4 and FIT!! Yeehaw, and stuff!

Here's a ridiculous velvet "track suit" dress by J Lo. Personally, I hate it and I'd never be caught dead wearing something like this, but it will probably bring a mint on ebay!

I found a whole bunch of brand new stuff from Target's Isaac Mizrahi line, like this orange dress!
I also found this cool vintage bolero jacket, which would be a great start for a Halloween costume! It could work for a belly dancer or a genie costume, for sure!

I love the BW! It's so much fun to find cool stuff, and after ebay, I actually MAKE money shopping there! 95% of my closet now is BW finds! Yeehaw indeed...

Weekend Update

I worked on my Halloween costume yesterday. It's finished now.. a mermaid costume. Not my best effort, but it's okay. You'll have to wait till the Halloween party to see it, though. :-)

I'm going to see Trigger in a minute. Then I have to come home and work on some new ebay listings.

But first, L and I have to eat breakfast: leftover steak from Outback, and some home fries and cheesy eggs. :-D

Drag

Ok. I came into work late today, because I slept for 12 hours, and I still could have slept for the rest of the day, I think. I feel like I am walking (and breathing) underwater.

This is perfect, PERFECT timing.. because Tuesday I am having my bridal portraits, and ALL I need is for them to be all red-eyed and puffy from allergies or the flu! I had better be better by then, is all I can say.

And now..
I guess I have work to do. :-(

Listy

Here's a list. You know you wanted one!

1) Trigger is awesome! He is putting on weight, growing in his winter coat, and generally looking quite handsome. He is looking forward to this weekend's trail rides...

2) I need more sleep. I think I may need to rethink my schedule a little bit. I am averaging about 6 hours a night, when I really need 8-9 to be at my best. But it's so hard to go to sleep sometimes.. and even harder to wake up at 5:20 a.m.

3) I am coming to a realization that I don't have to do everything that I would possibly enjoy doing. Sometimes I would enjoy sitting at home with a glass of wine more than I would enjoy adding another activity to my already crammed schedule.

4) With that said, this jazz class is really cool!

The Boss is Off Today Playlist:
"Song for the Dumped" - Ben Folds Five
"Livin on a Prayer"- Bon Jovi

Groaning Silently

The "I Don't Really Wanna Be Here" Playlist:

"Rehab" - Amy Winehouse
"You Know I'm No Good" - Amy Winehouse
"Coming Up" - Ani DiFranco

Headache

I hate the way reality likes to come crashing back in.

I want to go back to the Islands.

More of Paradise

I love the light in this picture:
These are the squirrels of the Caribbean. I am very glad that they don't have teeth and that they are vegetarians...
Here I am , loving life.. (but missing L)
Here's the street at Charlotte Amalie where we went shopping. AC bought a beautiful Movado watch, and I bought a necklace and some earrings made of rainbow topaz. I brought back a bottle of Cruzan rum and some coffee for L, since he isn't the jewelry type..

Here's What Paradise Looks Like

Frenchman's Reef & Morningstar, where we stayed...
Our surprise when we got there was that it was an all-inclusive stay!

Here's what we saw when we first walked into the lobby:
On the ferry over to St. John's to meet BC and R.


Some of these pictures don't even look real, do they? That was such an amazing place!! And we may get to go back before too much longer...