Self Respect- A Public Service Announcement

You might have a self-respect issue if:

1) You size up every member of the opposite sex that you meet as a potential date, no matter how old, strange, unkempt, or unlikely they are. See also, Desperation. Extra points if you do this automatically without even thinking about it. Double extra points if you always pine after people who are completely unavailable, famous people you’ve never met, or are married to someone else.

2) You get into sexual situations that you don’t want to be in because a) you are afraid that if you say “No” people won’t like you, b) you think that’s what you have to do to get attention, c) you feel that no one may ever be interested in you again, so you better take your chance where you can get it, even if you don’t “love” the other person.

3) You get into sexual situations with people you don’t know. ‘Nuff said.

4) When in a sexual situation, you don’t take any steps to protect yourself, instead expecting the other person to do it. Extra points if you’re embarrassed to talk about things like condoms and birth control. Your health and future are not important enough to you to expend the effort to protect them. You evidently feel like you deserve an STD or an illegitimate child to raise.

5) You date people that you would never consider marrying because a) someone else you know wants to go out with them, b) they have money and/or buy you stuff, c) they beg and/or pressure you and you are afraid to say “No.” (See 2, above), or d) someone wants to go out with me?? Quick, grab it before it gets away!

6) You feel that you are worthless if you aren’t Pretty or Skinny or Attractive or Sexy or Rich or Perfect, or if you think someone else in the room looks better/has more money/has more talent than you do. You either a) don’t take care of yourself, or b) you obsess over taking care of yourself to the point that if you break a nail, you feel like less of a person. You don’t take care of your things either. Extra points if you feel like you don’t deserve any better than to live in a junk pile, so you don’t clean your house/car/environment either.

7) You constantly feel the need to remake yourself, either physically or mentally in order to gain approval from others. And I mean ALL others. Parents, teachers, checkout girls, homeless people, people you can’t stand.. ANYONE who acts like they disapprove of you can send you into a spin.

8) You offer your friendship to anyone who comes along and will tolerate your presence, instead of choosing friends based on mutual esteem, similar likes and dislikes, etc. You expect people to treat you badly. You let your friends, relatives, or significant other take advantage of you.. borrow money they never pay back, stand you up for dates/events/girls night out, borrow things from you and return them broken/ruined or never return them at all. You choose to believe obvious lies in order to keep a relationship going rather than kick someone to the curb, even if they thoroughly deserve said kicking. If you are afraid to call someone out when they treat you badly, odds are 1,000 to 1 that you have a self-respect problem.

9) You don’t respect others enough to show up on time for things, return their stuff to them in the same condition it was in when you borrowed it, and turn the phone off (or at least on silent) when you’re out with them.

10) You teach your children that they’re not worth anything either; you don’t protect them from bad influences, situations, and people. You teach them not to defend themselves when others take advantage of them. You tell them that another person is “out of their league” either as a friend or as a potential relationship. You undermine their ability to make sound judgments. You don’t provide a good example or a stable environment.

11) You are a perpetual victim who can't seem to take responsibility for your own actions. You are terrified to stand up for yourself, take a position, take responsibility, and be accountable. You can't stand church because you are mad at God.. You don't feel like you deserve his attention, much less his love.

I promise I’m not preaching here, y'all. I have been guilty of all of the above, except for #3 and #10, at some point in my life.. and #10 only because I don't have any children. It's a hard realization to come to. It's hard to accept these things about myself.. but I can't fix a problem I'm not aware of, can I?

You can't either. Just sayin..