A Marriage Made in Hell- Part 3

Let's talk for a minute about wedding fashion, shall we?
Brown is back in, so I'll spare the comparison to certain types of dirt, soil, and other brown substances. I mean, you could spill coffee on your bridesmaid dresses and your groom's cumberbund and no one would even notice. This is The Supermodel from the other wedding pics I have posted. She was always so tall and thin and beautiful.. but still, that hat. My God, that HUGE hat.. and as if that weren't enough... the umbrella!!! Indoors!

Also, you can see the lovely Kingdom Hall decor in action here as well. Fluorescent lighting.. what every wedding needs!

Here are the unfortunate bridesmaids and flower girls.. They look like Miss Kitty clones on a forced march to church. Note the use of Indoor Umbrellas once again, as if it is suddenly going to start raining inside the KH at any minute. Perhaps they are actually there to impede from view any tiny bit of skin that may show through the high collar and long sleeves. These dresses are certainly MODEST, if not attractive..at least there's that...

Seriously, this is hideous beyond belief. And every one of those kids knows it.. note the sour expressions that seem to say, "someday, when i grow up, you will all pay for making me wear this ridiculous get-up. Mark my little lisped words, Pa Kettle!"

Ah, Half Pint(s), aren't there some cows that need milking somewhere??

This one actually isn't as bad as it could be. My only objection is to the muffs and the yarmulkes. And the color, but that's just on general principle. Mauve is for old ladies. My sister, the flower girl, is cute here, even if her head is in danger of being taken over by a Giant Bow of Doom.

And remember: "[Jehovah] am with you"! It's like Star Wars, only... not!

But this, ..this.. is the prize of my collection of horrid wedding pictures! The colors alone are enough to scald the eyeball! Hot pink! And RED VELVET! On a pea-soup green background! Aaaagh! With fluorescent lights and old salvaged movie-theatre seats!

Actually this is the desperate wedding choice of someone who has always secretly wanted to celebrate Christmas, but was never allowed. The signs are all there.. the candles, the red velvet and white fur santa capes, the fake greenery..

My mother is the maid of honor, the only one who escaped the deathly pink-and-red combo.. She looks like Mrs Claus in younger years.

Sadly (or not, depending on who you are in the soap opera), this marriage was doomed by its erratic color choices and didn't last long. Well, from what I hear the groom was insane, too. I am sure that and the color choices were enough to terminate the relationship. My aunt's second marriage took place in our backyard, in front of the treehouse, and despite obvious similarities between groom #1 and groom #2, it has been successful. They're still together, anyway.

How the heck would I know? They don't talk to me anyway.