No Dust-Covered Fans, Please

Let me start by saying that I feel absolutely horrible today. Since the air conditioner is dead, L brought the oscillating fan from the living room in last night, and it blew right in my face all night. The problem is that the fan is choked with dust, so you can only imagine my predicament this morning. I feel like I've swallowed a giant ball of yarn soaked in rubber cement. I can't breathe and I feel like I could toss my cookies at any moment.

Now there's a lovely thought for a Tuesday morning.

So. It's hot at home, and it's freezing at work, and I feel like calling today a complete waste (at 7:26 am) and going back to bed.

Meh. Yesterday just plain sucked as well, although at least I didn't feel like this. Yesterday Mom had an episode and I had to call the doctor. Mom says that regardless of her health and safety, she needs to be back in North Carolina, and going back there will solve all of her problems. She doesn't care if the trip kills her, or if she spreads a deadly bacteria halfway across the country and infects the whole family, she wants to go home and there is no reasoning with her.

The doctor says that (ironically enough) her physical condition is improving somewhat, but her mental state is declining at the speed of light. I know this new inability to control her thoughts and what comes out of her mouth must be terrifying to her.. but there is something terribly wrong with withholding that kind of information about symptoms from your doctor, and then telling your family members that they have to do something about it. Like it has to be some secret and she doesn't want the doctor to know.

I have no clue what could possibly be done to stop that kind of thing. The only thing I can do is continue to give myself ulcers. Mom seems to think that there is some sort of conspiracy afoot to keep her in Arkansas forever as a lab specimen or something. I am quite certain that her doctor would love to send her packing back to NC and never have to set eyes on her again, and given the circumstances, I can't really blame him. She's unreasonable, out of touch with reality, and she doesn't care about anything except what she wants regardless of what the consequences might be.

AAAaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh. I feel like I'm on some big, incredibly stupid carnival ride that keeps going around and around and around and nothing you can do or say will make a difference or make any of it make sense.

I should try to get some work done.. maybe then I won't feel so bad.