Money

We talked about finances again yesterday, and I don't know why that is such an uncomfortable subject. Then again, maybe I do. Everything has always been about money for me.. Mom was always wanting me to ask Dad for it. Every boyfriend I have ever had except for L has expected me to provide all of it. I have never, ever had enough of it. But then, does anyone?

With L, I sometimes feel that I am not contributing enough.. or rather that he feels like I don't. He says that he doesn't feel that way.. but my percentage of the regular bills is about $175 a month more than I can pay. And that's not taking into account the recent major purchases, which he says I should contribute to.

I have no problem with that. It changes a few things.. Obviously up to this point I have been paying a flat amount to live there, like rent. I am not a renter there; it's all our stuff, not just his. It is good that he is thinking that way, and I don't mind paying for a percentage of it. I just can't pay it quickly.

Things will be a lot easier when I have the old debt from J paid off. 16 months more, at the rate I'm going, and it will all be gone. Then the only debt I will have left will be student loans.

Of course, about that time my car will die, with my luck.