Defying Death and Other Thoughts

My horse almost killed me today. I was mucking out stalls and putting down new bedding. I had horse cookies in my pocket, and fed him one. I was petting him like I do every time I see him, and all of a sudden he turns and lets fly with both hind hooves.

Now granted, he had been galloping back and forth across the pasture like a madman all afternoon, he and the other horse, Sundance, biting each other, playing, and generally acting insane. I don't know if the other horse was doing something to Trigger or what incited him to violence, but one of those hooves with 1200 pounds of raw power behind it whizzed past my ear. His hoof hit my ponytail. That's how close I came to being killed today.

Just a friendly reminder that horses are great, but you have to respect that kind of power in the hooves of what amounts to a 1200 pound 2-year-old. That is the extent of their cognitive ability.

I went home subdued and thinking about church this morning of all things.

Maybe it is best that I don't record my thoughts here. Perhaps they are not the type of thoughts that are okay for general consumption. Like many of my closest-held of beliefs and ideas, some of my views on religion in general and this area's churches in particular are ..inflammatory. Suffice it to say that they are serious thoughts. Maybe I will tackle them here at some point. and maybe not.

Well, okay, maybe one of them. Just a teeny tiny one.

Every church I have ever been inside of has believed that God endorsed their particular brand of Christianity. Every one of them believes that God accepts their brand of worship best, and that they are somehow superior to other churches. Some are more vocal about this than others, but you get the idea. Each pastor exhorts his congregation to behave in certain ways, and not to behave in certain ways. Each church staff, right down to the last choir member, stands in front of the congregation representing their faith, like it or not. Representing themselves as somehow above the sinful, slogging masses--whether they willfully do so or not is immaterial. It just goes with the territory.

Every church feels that God condones them and borrows the creedence of scripture-- Our actions are sanctioned by the Lord. What we do is the Will of God. Even when they're dead wrong sometimes. And individuals within the church presume to speak for the church, make horrible examples of themselves, and then act as if they piss perfume for no other reason than that they go to church more often than you or I do.

Y'all, I just can't bring myself to believe that God sanctions or even cares about any of that. When there are children starving in Africa, and people doing horrible things to each other every day, in every city and town in every state in every country on earth, I have a hard time believing that a God worth his salt cares how one church or another does business. It would be wrong somehow if he did.

Now I don't presume to say that the ALmighty does things wrong. I'm just saying that this is how I see it. Christians are supposed to have a personal relationship with the Living God. I think for a lot of people, (myself and L included), church gets in the way of that.

Sad but true. I am an every-once-in-a-while churchgoer for that reason. I go more than once a quarter or so, and I begin to doubt God in a bigger way than I care to contemplate. Call it my own failing if you will.. I just can't see Him in some of the ways that others seem to be able to.

And don't even get me started on the other Deep Thoughts for the Day.

I'm going to put some pork chops in the marinade and start making the au gratin potatoes for dinner tonight. After a day of contemplating Religion and defying death by equine, I think I need some quality snuggle time on the couch. My boyfriend and my cat await...