Ever talk to certain people and just get the feeling that they aren't listening to you? Ever feel like that's very, very intentional? Ever had that person be your boyfriend/girlfriend, wife or husband?
L does this only about certain subjects. General conversation? Sure, fine, we talk about any and everything, as long as it isn't really personal. Money? Yeah, we can talk about money, if I persist long enough. But when it comes to the future, our relationship, his feelings, or anything remotely involving emotional committment.. well you guessed it.
Stone. Wall.
Sometimes I get so tired of shouting into the void, ya know? It's like telling someone your real soul.. opening your heart to someone.. and realizing that they're absolutely not listening. It makes me sad, when we have such a great relationship otherwise.
I'm not saying that I want some declaration of undying love, although that would be nice. I just want him to give something of himself to the relationship.. at least be willing to talk to me. I feel that after 2 1/2 years of dating (and living with him for a year of that time), I'm entitled to at least that much emotional intimacy.
And yes, for the record, I do want to marry him, but I don't want it to be because I forced the issue.
In the words of Jennifer Nettles, "I don't want to if you don't want to."
It would be nice to know one way or the other, though.
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3 comments:
Hmmmm .... sometimes the silence .... is the answer to your question. What you have now is what he may want. No need to talk marriage or anything else. The topic must have come up before and the answer hasn't changed so .... there's no further reason to talk about it . Neil D.
No further reason other than that I am half the relationship too.
The subject has come up before, and he said nothing one way or the other. He has never clearly communicated what he wants.
And after my last disaster of a relationship, I am very wary of assuming anything in either direction.
I do think that my feelings on the direction of the relationship are just as important as his, regardless of what either of us wants in the future.
Thanks for the comment
--b
B,
I have found Sherry Argov's books especially helpful (and effective with my boyfriend). Don't be put off by the titles, it is supposed to be funny. You can find her books in pretty much any book store in the relationship section. I highly recommend them both.
AF
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