A Marriage Made in Hell- Part 1

In answer to numerous requests.. here is part one in a series of truly frightening wedding photos, culled from decades of snapshots that have been sitting in a box somewhere for ages. Our first example is this monstrosity.. Peach Nylon. This dress looks like a nightgown. And the flowers are fake. In fact, I think this same bouquet graced the top of our bookshelf, then later the entertainment center for at least 15 years after this wedding took place. Check out the matching clump of "silk" flowers on her head. I have no idea whose wedding this is, but whoever it was had awful taste.. either that or a vendetta against everyone in the wedding party. Honestly, can you think of a fabric that is as unflattering to anyone's figure than NYLON??? Note the spiffy matching peach tux. It gives me nightmares.
And here we have Farmer Johnson's four unmarried daughters, dragged out of bed to hold some flowers for a photo op. My mother is second from the left, and doesn't look half bad, considering the hideous dress. I remember playing dress up with this one as well, for years and years before finally figuring out that the ugly was rubbing off. Note the shadow of the photographer in the left corner. Or is that a suitor admiring the Farmer's daughters from afar, out of range of the Farmer's shotgun? Hard to tell, really. I don't know whose wedding this was either.
This, children, is what we thought of when someone said "floppy" in the old days before computers. There must have been a scene at the Parlor Bridal Store when the bride realized that there was only one bridesmaid dress left in her color of choice, and that her other two hapless bridesmaids and flower girl would have to wear a totally different color. And the tuxedo store didn't have pink to match them, either. So 1/4 of the wedding party doesn't match. Oh well, maybe no one will notice...

This was the height of JW society weddings.. A KH wedding. I can think of no place less romantic, less aesthetically pleasing, less amenable to thoughts of wedding-night bliss than a Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. Especially back in the old days, when there was no decorating committee for new KHs, who ensured a harmonious (if dated) color scheme. Back then the Sisters in the congregation decorated the Hall.. with homemade curtains and chairs salvaged from condemned movie theatres (but NEVER pews! Pews are pagan!).

Check back soon for another installment. I have some real doozies for you next time!