Derailed

If I was off kilter yesterday, I am completely derailed today. I feel like I've been run over by something large and heavy, and I am dreading this meeting tomorrow like a root canal.

I know it has to be done, and I know it's going to be a trip to Guilt Trip City.

I talked to the doctor and the people at the rehab place yesterday and they all seem to want to help. I visited a potential place for Mom yesterday afternoon.. and it was nice, but I know she'll hate it. I know she'll hate and blame me for anything I do. I just talked to another place and they are sending me some information.

And I'm still working while doing all of this. I'm probably not doing a very good job, but I'm trying anyway.

I'm going to see Trigger this afternoon. Hopefully I can muster up enough energy to play with him for a while.

And then I have to start making the next round of calls and appointments in the wedding planning extravaganza.. sending the florist a deposit check, booking the officiant, finishing the guest list..

Never a dull moment in my world, that's for sure.

Off Kilter

Hmm.. where to start?

I am just off kilter today. Yesterday too. I don't even know how to explain it, other than I think I am stressing out big time over the situation with my mother. There are so many factors there to drive me to distraction that it's a wonder I can think about anything else right now.

There's the obvious fact that she's sick and needs help, of course. Then there's the fact that she is very manipulative and usually does everything she can to get on my nerves. (Case in point: Last night I was trying to tell her something and she kept asking questions about "that creepy guy." I had no IDEA what she was talking about. Turns out she was bringing up something that happened 5 years ago as if it were this afternoon, and I honestly believe that the entire purpose of the conversation was to bring up J. Now that I am done with him, she loves to talk about him... just because I don't want to hear it. Just like Flamey and every other person I've ever dated since I was 16.)

Then there's the fact that she can make me feel so bad for even existing at all that I want to contemplate jumping off the nearest bridge. And of course there's the religious angle. Don't even get me started on that. And did I mention that she is as stubborn as a mule and has a one-track mind? I honestly believe that if she lost both legs, was bleeding to death, and there were alligators crawling all over her house, she would still insist that she would be fine to go home.

I made some phone calls yesterday to talk to various family members about the situation, and it seems like some of them agree with my sister and I that Mom doesn't need to go back to the farm and that GM and GF can't take care of her anymore. Then again, there's also the "wait and see" contingent, who are so afraid to make a decision about anything that they would probably let the house burn down rather than make a decision to call the fire department or pick up the hose.

Very, very frustrating indeed. Last night after band practice (at which I was also a little off), I went home and snuggled with L on the couch while he talked on the phone to his mother. We went to bed relatively early, but I was still dragging when my alarm went off this morning. If I closed my eyes right now, I believe I could sleep at my desk for the rest of the day.

Something Borrowed..

After a very nice ride, and an even nicer bath, Trigger is anxious to get his dinner..Here he is before we went out.. we borrowed a saddle from a friend, to see if it helped his back. It did. Now I want a saddle like this...
Doesn't he look good in black??

The Weekend at Our House is Always....

Here is one of L's roses...He has proven himself to be a great yard person. Seriously, our yard is awesome, and I have absolutely nothing to do with it. I am lousy at yard work, especially since we have a couple of 4 foot black snakes that live in the mulch and leaves at the back side of the fence. They have been toying with L all week, and he has been trying to discourage them from hanging out in our flower beds.. but so far they have been elusive. Needless to say I am terrified of that section of the yard.. but not as terrified as I would be if they were cottonmouths or copperheads.. I don't like snakes.!
This is Duckie. He is very intense now that he has figured out that the house is much bigger than L's office, where he has been holed up since Monday. I put SoftClaws on him today.. wow, was that an ordeal! He will be as relieved as I once he is declawed and we don't have to go through that again.

Monster and Duckie are getting used to one another slowly.. still hissing, but not so bad as before.

L and I went to see Spiderman 3 today.. it was ok, but MY GOD it could have been HALF as long and been better. That movie dragged ON and ON until I thought I would go completely geriatric before it was over.

We got a Combo #1 at the concession stand.. $16 for a 5 gallon bucket of popcorn and two medium drinks. They must have been 40 oz each. Jeez, my drink was so heavy I almost dropped it on the way into the theater. Sheesh..

Tomorrow: Riding with Trigger!

Massive Updates

Well once again I have been so busy that I haven't had time to post anything for several days.. but I have lots of news.

First, a short NP update. I have gotten off track slightly with the NP, but I haven't forgotten. One of my things is going to happen right here, right now, as a matter of fact. I know that my sister reads every post I put up, and so this is a good place to say it. I am so proud of my sister! She is still in that tough, dues-paying portion of her new career, but girlfriend is working it. She is overcoming tremendous odds in landing the job that she has, and is working harder than I've ever seen her work to make it. She's kicking a$$ and taking names, despite a crazy ex who calls 900 times a day, a history of tough breaks, an uncertain financial situation, and a jealous ex-wife-in-law. She's also raising a gorgeous Attitude who is 16 and requires constant supervision. And did I mention that she's doing all of this with no college degree? Yeah.
Besides that she is beautiful, funny, smart, and the best sister in the history of the world. (Even though she did try to kill me when we were kids. Heh.) Sami, you're the best friend a girl could have. I love you!

I promise more NP updates to come.

In other news (and there's a lot), a LIST:
1) I am blonde again. All is right with the world, eh?
2) My car broke down yesterday. I need a new tire, a new fuel filter, and a good engine cleaning. Oh, and new wiring. That about covers it.
3) My wedding dress arrived!!!!! It is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and it fits perfectly. It will only need the most minor of alterations. Check tomorrow for a wedding news update.
4) Duckie is settling in well, but Monster is very very upset with ..well.. with everything in his life right now. He seems to be terrified of Duckie and growls at him from afar. Duckie is sublimely unconcerned. He is very playful, but when he's not whirling around like an insane dervish on crack, he's sleeping and purring his little head off. The vet said he weighs 2.3 pounds, but it's 2.3 pounds of pure dy-no-mite.
5) There is someone at work who I would dearly love to throttle right now. Unfortunately, I can't do so, and I really can't complain about it too much because dealing with this sort of thing is actually my job. So. Pray for my teeth, that I don't grind them into nonexistence before this proposal leaves my desk.
6) My mother makes my head hurt. That's all I'm going to say about that, for fear that I will become horribly depressed.
7) Trigger looks like a million bucks. Man, is he nice and shiny!!! But the back pasture is a long way to walk to, and the deer flies are horrible out on the trail. I'm looking for a good fly-annihilation method. Anybody know any? (I'm serious, those suckers are evil and they must DIE!)

And now I have a dinner to attend..

Meet Duckie..

Well That Was Certainly Interesting..

Last night, L and I went downtown to hear a free concert by Kevin Costner's band. This is why some people should not ever attempt to sing. Ever.

There was an enormous crowd, and I do mean enormous. There was only one beer truck and we stood in line for an hour to buy two drinks at a time because otherwise it would be a one drink night. I have tried to become used to crowds, and the fact that anytime I go anywhere near large numbers of people, I am going to get stepped on, mowed over, shoved, jostled, poked, and felt up by the slimy man who mutters "excuse me" under his breath as he goes by with a s--- eating grin. Grrrr.. but I digress.

We saw a very thin girl with enormous silicone breasts trying to hold a squirming toddler while wearing a skimpy little jersey knit strapless shirt as a dress, while teetering in towering stiletto heels. That was amusing, to say the least.

Then ol Kev started to sing, and we cleared out. We ran into CJ & R, and ended up doing some comparisons of local bars.. High Cotton, the Oyster place, Wild Wing, and finally Barley's, where we ate a huge pizza.

The sweetest thing I've heard lately: L was talking with some people at the bar at High Cotton about football, of course. One of the ladies remarked that he seemed to be such a happy guy, to which he replied, looking at me,

"Why wouldn't I be happy? I'm marrying HER!"

Heh. Just made my week, didn't he?

At the end of the night we had the Scary-as-Hell moment.. Driving down I-185 on the way home, we met someone driving the wrong direction down the highway in the passing lane! I called 911 to report it and get the cops out there before someone got killed.. and they first put me on hold, then cut me off. I don't know if the moron going the wrong direction at 65mph got in an accident, got stopped, or made it home uneventfully.. we never heard anything on the news.. but it's frightening when you call the emergency number and they don't even listen.

Meh. Anyway, that's my weekend. I'm still working on the NP update.. I haven't forgotten. :-) Coming soon: My wedding dress should be here by the 23rd according to the update they sent me yesterday...

My New Notebook

Erm.. Yee Haw, Y'all. :-)

Home Sweet Home

Let me state for the record that I am very happy to be home.
The rest of the updates will have to come later.. I need to go see Trigger. :-)

Our Brush with a Psycho on the MTA Bus

Well.. today in Nashville was certainly interesting.
We got up and went to the mid-morning session on time and effort reporting for primarily undergraduate institutions (of which we are not one). As you can see, this is incredibly scintillating material.

Anyway.

After that we decided to go shopping again, so we went down to try and catch the city bus. We got confused about the stops a little, and the wind started blowing and it got really cold, but finally we made our way over to Opryland Mills. Some weird guy got on the bus about halfway through the ride and started talking about his feet and then about his dead grandfather leaving him $850,000 in his will and blah blah blaaady blah. We were happy to get off the bus and head in the opposite direction from the one in which he was heading.

atrocious grammar, i know.

We went to lots of stores. M found many many sale racks and bought lots of stuff and spent less than $20. I made one spectacular find (I'll post a pic later), and bought two tank tops, but not much else.. I tried to find a cute dress for the engagement pics, but no luck. We went to see Georgia Rule, which we sort of expected to be a comedy from the previews..

But no. It was ultimately not. I think this movie was tres close to home for Miss Lohan, who was the trampy, albeit gorgeous, star who owned a LOT of white dresses. A LOT. My favorite line from the film..

"If you call me another name, or throw anything at me, or follow me around again.. I will find every one of your boyfriends and I will f*** them stupid!"

Heh.

After the movie we went to dinner. Then we made our way to the bus stop, and who should be there waiting for us but... the same guy from before. It crosses my mind that he may have been following us the entire time. But I don't want to be paranoid.

We get on the bus. He sits down in the seat closest to us and starts up his monologue again. This time he goes from his feet to religion to money to education. Apparently he believes that he is an MD and a lawyer, but he runs a landscaping business on the side, and he is going to start Disneyland in Nashville. He also says that he is a financial whiz because he has saved himself $2400.. because he's a lawyer and he knows legalities and he can notarize things.

I had to physically restrain myself from snorting out loud. Then he starts talking about his children and his ex-wives (of which there are apparently two). He said that he had open marriages, talked about how he had no restrictions on who they were with.. blah blah women are wonderful, blah blah.. but both his wives cheated on him and that's why it ended. My restraint could not handle that.

I asked him if he had an open marriage, why the heck did he care if they cheated???? He looked me dead in the eye and said "Because she cheated on me with black men!!"

Y'all, this guy was black himself.

I am not kidding.. this is too good to make up! I asked him what his first clue was that these women may have been attracted to men of color.. but he acted like he didn't hear me and changed the subject.

I swear it was the most ridiculous conversation I have ever been part of, ever, bar none. We both breathed a sigh of relief when he exited the bus. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to follow us back to our hotel. He had that serial killer look about him for sure. Or maybe I just don't like people who a) stalk me and b) lie, lie, lie.

Anyway we will be out of here tomorrow. M and I have been trying to engineer all of our new stuff into our suitcases for the flight home. Not sure if it's gonna happen, but we're trying.

Tomorrow:
Pictures of my awesome new notebook
NP update..
I get to see L :-D

I Wish...

Music City

Well, I'm blogging from Nashville, and there are only a few things to say so far:

1) Their goodwill store is not nearly as good as ours, population notwithstanding. I did find a brand new pair of Justin riding boots in my size for $1.99 though. I can't really complain too much, can I? Even though it was sort of like pawing through someone's trash. :-[
2) Their horses that pull the carriages on Broadway are not as well taken care of as ours in G'ville. Their coats don't shine and their hipbones stick out and they don't even get horsie tennis shoes. I feel bad for them, but I can't take them all home with me because Trigger would never forgive me. 3) I'm not really going to do any shows or fab restaurants this trip, because I have work to do and classes to attend, but that's really no big deal.. and
4) We went shopping yesterday and I found a pair of jeans at Banana Republic on sale and I bought them and they're a size 4. I have been excessively pleased with myself since I tried them on.

Other than that.. I have a headache, and our plans for the evening are indeterminate.
Later: Pics?

What's the Buzz, Tell Me What's a-Happenin..

Last night was great.

L and I went to eat at High Cotton, which was outstanding. Even though we got the table we always get in every restaurant, for some reason.. the microscopic one right next to the kitchen door. I had venison, L had yellowfin tuna. The food really was fantastic.

Jesus Christ Superstar was awesome, as always. Corey Glover was stunning as Judas, technical difficulties and all. I think the sound guy was struggling a little last night. Ted Neely was still good, but his voice made it clear why this is his "farewell tour." It was a stretch for him last night, I think, to play a vital, 33-year-old, perfect man.

L says that the show was totally different on the London stage where he saw it last. It's amazing how different groups can interpret the same music and the same lyrics in an entirely different way.

I also realized last night that I miss the theatre. I haven't done a play since around 1997, I think. It might be fun to audition for something sometime. But not in A-Town.

And now I am off to Nashville for a conference. I will be back home on Thursday. I discovered a massive thrift store extravaganza only a mile from our hotel, so look for updates on my amazing discoveries later in the week! (I love the bad-won't!! And, sadly, my sister is the only one who will probably get that statement..) Anyway, I'm going to get a few minutes of snuggle time in before we have to leave for the airport...

A Few Thousand Words

Working for the Weekend

This weekend was insanely busy. I feel like it's a vacation to come back to work.. and yet.. there are meetings looming, deadlines approaching, and at the end of the week.. another business trip!

So.. a quick recap of the stuff I haven't blogged so far:

• L and I did some frenzied shopping and decorating for the party on Saturday. He really needs to chill out. I swear he can put me right on the edge because he gets so uptight about things. And he assumes that because I am not running around with my head on fire about something, that it must not be important to me. I don't know where this idea comes from, but it's a) wrong (I usually know exactly what needs to be done and have a schedule for accomplishing it.. though I may not communicate that so well) and b) it's highly aggravating. I have a hard enough time keeping myself in the right lane going in the right direction without someone trying to speed me up and correct everything I do. Just saying.
• The Retro de Mayo party was a huge success. L found a joystick thingie that you plug into the TV to play all the old Atari games, and it was a real hit with all of our partygoers. Everyone played trivia as well. It was pretty cool.
  
• I went riding yesterday, and Trigger was very well behaved and except for one episode where he tried to trot down a muddy hill and nearly scared me to death, it was great.
• I also moved my base of operations for Eeeeebs from the sunroom to my craft room. That way I can hang up all my merch and keep it in order. It also keeps the cat from using all of the clothes as a bed. :-)

So now I just have to get ready for the week ahead... Saturday I am going to Nashville...

Retro de Mayo!!

Here are the flowers I got on Friday from work...And here are some highlights from our party last night.,..

Internet Apology

Ok, y'all. I owe you an apology. I have been remiss in my postings here over the past few weeks.. but it's been so busy I haven't had time to organize my thoughts into something even remotely coherent.

So today I will give it a try. Let's do it as a list, shall we?

1) L and I are hosting a neighborhood party tonight. That means lots of funny pics for later. I found L the ugliest pair of polyester pants in the world yesterday.. Did I mention that this is a 70-80s retro dance party mixed with a cinco de mayo party? yeah, it's going to be Retro de Mayo. :-)

2) I had a great ride with Trigger on Wednesday!! He was better behaved than I have ever seen him. We rode out through the woods for about 20 minutes at a nice walk, and then I turned him around and told him to go.. it took 5 minutes to get back to where we started. :-) He's so much fun! I'm going to see him tomorrow...

3) I had the strangest dream last night.. I dreamed that some ex girlfriend of L's showed up at our door, and that he let her in and told her that she could stay with us for a while. She was a skanky ho, y'all. I mean, someone that L would never look twice at, much less allow into our house, seriously. It was that bad. She kept hanging on him and I was afraid he was going to get lice or something (funny since he is bald..), and I was really irritated that he wasnt' making her stop. Well she insisted on sleeping in the room with us, and then when I got up (in the dream) I realized that she had stolen all of my jewelry. So I woke L up (in the dream) and told him, and we were looking through her stuff to see if she had it.. especially my engagement ring. I was SO MAD in the dream that I wanted to strangle L and her both.. I found some of my jewelry in one of her big plastic stripper shoes and then went to wake her up and confront her with it.. when I noticed that she was wearing my engagement ring. That sent me right over the edge. I woke up because I was grinding my teeth. I had to get up and put my ring on before I could go back to sleep. It sounds so freaking stupid when I write it down, but WOW, was it vivid!

4) So when I went back to sleep I had another weird dream. My dad came to visit and actually went to New Spring with me. (I was shocked!!) But instead of Perry preaching, there was a black woman preaching. She was ok, but she got mad at someone in the audience and started yelling at them. I was trying to explain to Dad that this wasn't the way it normally was. Then we left and went to a restaurant and we were eating steaks. He kept pointing out the "biblical errors" in the sermon and I kept trying to tell him that the lady who preached wasn't the real preacher and that the real guy knew his stuff. It was bizarre.

So yeah, that's been my morning so far.. that and ebay. Look for an update on the wedding blog momentarily.

Pictures? Did Somebody Say Pictures?

Here is a centerpiece from the wedding the band played at on Sunday:
And a motion shot of me singing. I look weird. But you can see my new Guess dress that I got at the "Badwon't" for probably about $0.15. And here's the whole band..
And Me and L after we were done playing. It was SO HOT in there!
So there, those of you who were dying for pictures. :-)

What I learned yesterday: Pilates is a lot harder than it looks! Of course I really already knew that, but the lesson was reinforced.