Coming Down

..But not really coming down at all.

More like full steam ahead.

I am so busy at work that I will never dig my way out from under the mountain. And once again I am the subject of the rumor mill. Never mind that I suspect that the gentleman in question is actually carrying on a clandestine thing with someone else. Never mind that he is old enough to be my dad. Never mind that I have really buttoned it up this past month. No more jeans to the office, always wear hose, no low cut blouses, nothing tight or short. I am a married woman, as well.. a VERY RECENTLY married woman.

And yet, old biddies will always be old biddies on a fact finding mission. This is all very cryptic for most of you, I know, but I can't give out identifying details for fear it'll make the problem worse. Suffice it to say that there is another very specific individual in our office who deserves the "office ho" label way more than I do. I think it's ridiculous that some people always think people are having some kind of affair if they are ever seen within 15 feet of one another. Jeez.

Anyway I will be out of there soon, I think. I'm hoping for a call about an interview very soon. I'm keeping a lookout for the smoke signals and keeping my mouth shut.

L is feeling better from his bout with the flu, but he is still slightly cranky. I am extremely cranky today, however, and not just about work. I am in the midst of the worst bout of PMS I have ever had. EVERYTHING is getting on my nerves right now. It is a struggle not to snap the head off of anyone who speaks to me about ANYTHING. I really need to cut my losses and call it a day, but I still have too many things to do. :-[ Even the doggets are annoying me.

Barnie keeps slurping water out of his bowl, and it makes an annoying noise. Denver keeps shoving his nose under my arm and into my ribs because he wants attention. I am being a real bitch about it, and I know it. They are just dogs. I am just in a bad mood and my back hurts. L has already asked me if I would like to go give the cats a good swift kick in the interests of fairness.

I glared at him and continued eating my lukewarm leftovers. I didn't feel like cooking.

In other news, it's cold. Brrrryzzz!!

Love Is All You Need

More More More

The girls..
The guys..
Me and CJ taking the long walk.
"The Band and I Do"
And here's H, being very careful not to drop the rings.. ;-)

More Details..

These cakes were the BEST!!

My bouquet, my great-grat-aunt's wedding ring on one hand, my engagement ring on the other..
L's pretty flower..

Details

The top of the cake..

Our "guest book"..
The Wedding March..
The Ryan Nicholas Inn..

More Pics.. This Might Take A while...

AC at the Bridesmaid Lunch..
S opening her gift from Blue Nile..
Slammi and her purple glasses..
The altar arrangement..
Here's what the place looked like before the celebration commenced..

A Few More..

Me and S, getting ready to head downstairs for the big event..
Here's L waiting..
The girls are doing their best pageant beauty queen imitations..
"Theah ah flowahs everywhayuh!!"

Getting Ready

We got our official photographer pictures back yesterday, but of course I'm not posting them yet. :-P Here are a few of us getting ready..



Today I am really sick. I think I have the flu. I started feeling bad yesterday while I was waiting in the endless line at the DMV, then the Social Security office, and then the DMV again. I have a new drivers license now, but I also have the flu.

Rehearsal Dinner Pictures...

Of course I'm not posting wedding shots yet! Ha! I have to do this slowly.. it's more fun that way!


Here's our setup for the rehearsal dinner at the Hyatt..Me, S, and Mom..
Me and L having a moment..
..And then things gang agley. This is where it all started to go South..

Quick List:
1) I sang the blues to a packed house at Brown Street, to wild applause. It was great!
2) The food was delicious and everyone seemed to have an awesome time..
3) .. Until my sister lost her mind. Don't want to talk about that so much..
4) I'm not posting pictures yet, but that doesn't mean that I can't tell you that my wedding day was the best day of my life.

Later:
A few very important moments from last night..

Wedding Day

The rehearsal dinner last night was awesome! Pictures will be forthcoming, later.
Brown Street Jazz Club was also awesome!

And the awesome just might end there for last night. My sister parted ways from the rest of us, along with my cousin W, to go dancing at the club across the street from the hotel. As of 5:10 am on my wedding day, they have not yet come back to the hotel.

If anyone knows anything of their whereabouts, call me, because if they don't show up soon I am going to completely lose it. I haven't slept well, to say the least.

Odds are the maid of honor will show up an hour before we are supposed to leave for the wedding, coming down from a good bender and expecting the world to stop for her as usual.

Can you tell I am a leeeetle put out at the moment?? I was really hoping to get some sleep tonight...

Day After Tomorrow

Ok, now I am excited.

Yesterday was stressful, with house cleaning and shopping and getting stuff together for the next few days.. but this morning I feel better.

It started snowing last night while I was at Sam's buying food for tonight, and this is what my yard looks like now:
This is Oscar, one of our resident gargoyles.

And here's Theodore. He actually likes the snow, I think. Reminds him of home. ;-)

Anyway, I have to drive to Seneca in the snow to deliver some stuff to the bakers, and then I have to come home and make stew for the avalanche of relatives that will be descending on our house this afternoon. Then it's off to the airport to pick up a contingent of said relatives... and then it's a snowball effect from there.

LOL You like my snow puns, don't you?

Don't Know Why I'm Feeling Down

...
Could be because I am exhausted and I can't seem to get caught up with all the stuff that needs to be done RIGHT NOW!!! I am amazed by the number of adults running around with their heads on fire, as if I am the only person on the planet in possession of a water hose.

I guess I am just feeling overwhelmed, with work in a mess and the wedding only days away, and a boatload or two of totally insane relatives on the way.

I need a list:

1) I don't know why in times like this I start to honestly feel like people are only pretending to like me. I don't know why anyone would ever do that.. there wouldn't really be any benefit in it, but sometimes that thought bugs me.

2) I don't really feel like it's a new year; I feel like it won't be a new year until January 20th. Is that weird?

3) I wish Monster and Duckie could be inside more when I am home. By the time I get here, it is usually the doggies' turn to be inside the house. Cats stay in the garage when the dogs are in, in order to avoid becoming part of the menu. But I would really like a furry little snuggle right now, and I am sure that my Monster would oblige. He probably needs the rest, since he and Duckie seem to have taken their diet seriously. They have been chasing each other all over the house, pouncing and growling, for several days. It looks like great fun.

4) By the way, Trigger is excellent as usual. We went for a ride on Sunday, and he was the soul of patience, even though the other gelding on the ride was obviously trying to rile him up. Trigger behaved beautifully (only pinned his ears back two or three times), until the really attitudinal (but gorgeous!) mare in the front was made to come to the back of the line with us. Her owner wanted to work on her trail manners.. but I had to call time, since I have a wedding in MERE DAYS and I don't want to walk down the aisle in a full body cast, thanks just the same. Trigger doesn't like being in close proximity to edgy mares. I don't blame him, to be honest.

5) Dinner tonight was pan seared lemon chicken on garlic onion rolls, topped with arugula, pears, and prosciutto in white wine and mustard vinaigrette. I was feeling ambitious. It was delish. :-D

Feeling slightly gloomy playlist:
"Down On Me" - Janis Joplin

Tomorrow: Dinner at AC's-- she doesn't cook, but it sounds good anyway!
American Idol on the big screen...
Last day of work before the wedding extravaganza!!!

Free Bird!!!

I'm sorry, that's just awesome. :-)

uuuuuuuughpdate

The bridal shower was really nice. We have lots of thank you cards to write. :-) I was having a pretty good day, as you can imagine.

And then..

On the heels of the shower (such a nice experience), I find out that I have made a mistake and it came up at audit of one of our projects. It was an honest mistake, and frankly I don't think it's such a huge deal. We are able to fix it, and it's not as if it anyone is going to die (or even not get their money) because of it. It's basically the wrong 3-digit code put in the wrong little box on a form. I, however, will probably be written up for it, which infuriates me.

Not because I don't deserve to be written up.. I do, it was my mistake and it is a bad thing for our department. No, I am really angry because I perceive a disparity between my work and that of a certain other person in the office who shall remain nameless.. and yet here I am with the first issue like this in 3 years. I realize that I have a huge chip on my shoulder about this issue. And I realize that I could be totally wrong. But try as I might, I cannot wrap my head around the idea that this person may actually do better work than I do.

It's just not possible. If I were forced to believe that, I'd just have to shoot myself, to quote Dorothy Parker.

I really really hope that I get called back for an interview with another department soon. It is just time for me to move on.

In other news, L rocks. Just thought I'd throw that in.. :-)
Tonight: Social committee meeting for the neighborhood?

Fly By List

Ten days until the wedding and I am sort of struggling. There is drama at every turn and 100,000,000 things to check up on, phone calls to make, and questions to answer before the big day.

funny conversation last night:
L: What is all that stuff you have written down there?
B: That's the list of stuff I have to do before the end of this week for the wedding.
L: Oh. Well ok. What do I need to do before the wedding? How do I need to work it so that I can get everybody (meaning his visiting relatives) to and from the site and all that?
B: [blank look] Doesn't it look like I have enough to do on this list? I think you're on your own there...

So we ate some pasta and watched the news.

So, a list:

1) Why are people's reactions so different in similar situations? What makes one person go berserk and violent, and another wash their hands of the situation and walk away?
2) Why does family go insane at the first mention of a major life event? Why does everything have to be such a screaming, fighting, name-calling, back-biting, mean thing? Why can't something be normal for a change? Even if it starts to look normal for a minute, one person starts needling the other and pretty soon there's a catfight. [Note to relatives on both sides: there will be a substantial law enforcement presence at my wedding. They will not hesitate to take you out. And I promise I will point and laugh.] I have a few words of advice for those who like to argue a lot: leave it alone for eleven days. Then you can have at it all you want.
3) Bridal shower at work today. Wheee!
4) I love toasted bagels.. but I hate it when that charred piece at the top stabs you in the roof of your mouth when you bite into it.. (that was random, wasn't it?)

Oh well, off to the salt mines...

Oh, Baby..

You, dear readers, need cheering up. Don't ask me how I know; I just do. So, for your viewing pleasure, here is L as a baby:

And, not to be left out, me as a baby:

Yay!

Resolution 2008

Ok, so it is true that New Year's Resolutions are just "rules" you make and then immediately break, so that you can be justified in feeling bad about yourself for the rest of the year.

Well, aren't they??

So this year instead of making pie-in-the-sky resolutions of the "right nigh on impossible" variety (get in perfect shape, don't make any mistakes, start new career as a rock star/best-selling author, etc), I am going to do something I have never done: make reasonable resolutions.

What, you didn't realize that ORP (ordinary, reasonable person) was a play on words? Of course I'm not ordinary, and sometimes not very reasonable. Trust me, this will be a new thing for me.

So.. here we go:

1) I'm going to exercise 3 times per week. It can be 15 minutes' worth, but I am going to do it. I am a much nicer person when I work out my aggressions on some piece of exercise equipment and not on some other person.

2) I am going to stop taking my job so seriously. It's not as if anyone else does. And if certain other people can do this job and not be stressed to the limit, that should tell me something.. (i.e. that I am putting in way more than I am getting back out!)

3) I am going to refocus on what is important to me; my marriage, my home, my family, my interests. I have a bad habit of putting everything else ahead of what I really care about (The house has to be spotless before I can even think about playing music! or I have worked myself to death and I'm too tired to spend any time with L during the week!)

4) I am going to pick the goals that really matter to me and pursue those few, instead of spreading myself so thin that I can't accomplish anything.

5) I am going to get a new car this year.

6) I am going to get my recording equipment and start recording my own songs. Apparently even when I pay a studio to record my music, there is always some issue; either the technician doesn't like my music and wants to rewrite it, or the musicians I am working with don't consider what I do to be "good enough" and try to turn it into something else entirely. The result is that I haven't focused on my own music in several years now. I listened to an old recording this morning, and ... damn, y'all. People can sneer at it if they want (and some have, loudly). No one has to like it or the message conveyed in it, but it ain't bad. The point is the only way I am going to get my music done in the way I want to do it is to do it myself. At this point, I am so far past caring if anyone else likes it that it doesn't even approach funny. It's my music. It's about me. I don't care if anyone else even hears it. I just want it to exist.

So, that should keep me busy for a while, ya think?

New Year

We have survived another New Year's Eve at our house!

We ended up cooking Manhattan NY Strips with a sauce made of whiskey, vermouth, butter, onions, and the various seasonings from the steak (my first flambe! Aren't we all proud that a) it tasted good and b) I didn't burn the house down?). We didn't go out anywhere.. AC and SM came over and we just hung around and talked and drank a lot.

Today I am up early (dogs kept waking me up, so I finally decided to get up already). L is still asleep. I am going riding today, and I hope Trigger remembers who I am after not seeing me for almost 2 weeks! It is supposed to be COLD today, but at least it won't be raining.

We need more rain, but it can do that tomorrow. :-)

Later: New Years Resolutions?