Gone and Done It

Today I went to the estate buying event at Haywood Mall and waited in line for hours. Actually they gave me a number and said to go shop while I waited, so I did. I bought a dress, two shirts, and a belt at Express because I had gift certificates to spend, and then I went to buy a birthday gift for my sister.

They finally got to my number at about 1:30 this afternoon, and I sold my wedding rings from J (and the last Valentines gift from him) for $625. I paid $3200 for the ring. It's a shame, but after shopping it around for the last 4 years or so, I have finally accepted the fact that I got ripped off in the first place. I was also frankly sick of looking at the ring.

But I had me a moment after it left my hands for the last time.

It's kind of like when you pull a plant out of the ground by the roots.. you expect there to be a hole there in the earth where it used to live. Imagine the surprise if you didn't see one. That's how it felt. I honestly didn't know that there was still any part of him still left in my heart. Turns out there was.. it was a tiny little thing like a splinter, and when it got pulled out today, it didn't leave an impression at all.

It's gone. There's nothing left except a dress (which is selling on ebay), some memories, and a box of photographs in the top shelf of the extra closet. The pictures only remain so that my sister and I can laugh at them in 20 years. We like to do that sort of thing. The idea that my life is moving onward and upward has taken hold and gotten comfortable.

This is a good place to be.