Life Lesson #964

Just a few things I've been thinking about for the last few days:

It's amazing the things we learn as children that impact our adult lives profoundly. Our attitudes toward the opposite sex, relationships, commitment, and the way you're supposed to behave... all these things are influenced directly by the way you are treated and the things you observe as a small child.

And then you grow up, and if you're like me and grew up in a family that put the "D" in "Dysfunctional," you start to suddenly realize that your view of the world is warped.

The problem is that it's hard to share these revelations with others. It's almost impossible to convey to someone who is going through a problem you've already experienced that you discovered a way to cope. It may be a moot point anyway, since what works for me may not work for anybody else.

In dealing with other people (who I care about, and who consequently have the power to hurt me), I find that "seeing someone's potential" to be a good friend, a good partner, whatever is never enough. You can't change anyone, no matter how much you think they need changing. If someone doesn't come to a realization on their own that they need to change... then it ain't happening. Therefore, if someone isn't a good influence, friend, partner, etc now... then find someone who is.

And another thing... it is silly to blame yourself for the fact that someone else doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated (that is, with courtesy and respect). You can't control someone else's actions (even if they're your child), and therefore you can't be blamed for someone else's actions.. or lack thereof.

And sometimes the best thing to do in a volatile emotional situation is to back off, stop talking, and reboot the server.

Just saying.