"Over the next few months, Sherrie found out a great deal about this friendship. She found that when she couldn't console Lois during her chronic emergencies, Lois would withdraw, hurt. She found out that when Lois was doing all right, she would ignore Sherrie. Lois never called just to see how Sherrie was doing. And she found out that when Sherrie herself called Lois with problems, Lois could only talk about herself.
It was sad to find out that a childhood connection had never really flourished into a mutual attachment. Lois simply couldn't come out of her self-centeredness enough to want to understand Sherrie's world."
"...If one does not have secure bonding [early in life], setting boundaries is too frightening. Many people stay in destructive relationships because they fear abandonment. They fear that if they stand up for themselves, they will be all alone in the world. They would rather have no boundaries and some connection than have boundaries and be all alone."
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2 comments:
The first part sonds like Robin... although I know who you are directing this at.
I also don't agree with it because that's NOT how I see our relationship. Although it may seem that way to you... especially now, because I have had so much BS latley. This is not what is intended. Love.
I'll bet it's not the way "Lois" saw "her" relationship either.
But I really identified with both quotes. I know you're going through a hard time right now, and have been for a while.. but that doesn't mean that BS stops happening in my life too, or that my feelings aren't important.
Just saying.
--b
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