The Answer to That Nagging Question

I have been away from my new blog, as my readers would notice... if I actually had any readers, that is.
In that time, I have discovered the answer to a question I have asked here already. This particular question has frankly pestered the living hell out of me all my life. That is, why do I feel as if no one listens to me? Why do I feel as if everyone thinks badly of me? Why is it that people can say thousands of good things about me, but at the first negative criticism, I feel as if everyone in the world thinks badly of me and therefore I am not okay?

And the answer is... another question. Why do I care?

You see, this week I was introduced to Ayn Rand and discovered that I have this nagging problem because I am.. a second-hander. A person who has existed on the approval of other people, a person who needs the approval of others to exist. And like Gail Wynand in The Fountainhead, I was never meant to be a second-hander. I know this with complete certainty.

So the question of Why do I think this way? becomes Why do I care? which then becomes What do I think? Maybe it will take me a little while to find my "I." But at least that question is answered.