The World According to a Sophomore

As an employee of a University, I get the student newspaper every Friday, complete with horrid cartoons, advice columns, and unbridled (if uneducated) opinion. Today's edition begs to be blogged, even if it is only a student newspaper, and even if I am an adult who really shouldn't be able to care less.

But you see, there is a 2-page spread entitled "Most Overrated" where these o-so-cultured students rip into .. well.. lots of stuff.

First, we have a scorching denunciation of "Chicago," a broadway musical and recently a film starring Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones.
The acting was over the top, the presentations of the songs were flamboyant, and I was even against the concept of the movie itself. The plot intertwined maliciously with deceit and personal gain both dripping with political quarrels.

Hello? Is there anyone in there who has actually seen a broadway show before? because, you know, they're supposed to be ..well.. flamboyant and over the top. As for the sentence about intertwining plots... is there anyone out there who can decipher it? What does it mean? Anybody? Buehler? IT just doesn't make sense.
This commentator also pans "Forest Gump" and "The Passion of the Christ."

Then we have a jewel of literary criticism in a review of The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. I won't quote any of that blather, except the following, which I found completely ignorant and ridiculous:

Other overrated books include "Ulysses"- the most boring book of all time,
"The Fountainhead"- Ayn Rand creates dumb philosophy, thinks she is perfect
"Wuthering Heights"- Bronte sisters should be raised from the dead and killed again
"Tom Sawyer"- Good Rush song, bad book
"The Bible"- Too many numbers, names, and boring pointless stories, and not enough sex, drugs and rock n roll

I can say nothing about this except that this person has obviously not read the Bible if he/she thinks that there is no sex therein. There is actually quite a bit of sex in the holy writ, you just have to look for it, unlike on the Internet, where T&A is blared from the housetops. I don't know about drugs, but there is some alcoholism happenin' in the Good Book, and as for rock n roll.. I seem to remember kind david getting scolded for his wild dancing in a scripture or two. Psalms.. the rock n roll of its time, I guess.

Finally, these student critics panned.. Ray Charles. And Norah Jones. And Diana Krall. And Natalie Cole, Elton John, B.B. King, James Taylor... Jeezus, do I need to continue? I guess actual music must be out of fashion, when these classic and extremely talented musicians (some of whom are my favorites) can't measure up to P. Diddy or Chingy-or-whuddeva-his-name-is. And has anyone else noticed the lack of young female vocal talent on the airwaves lately? Sure, some of these girls may actually be able to sing, but they don't. All I seem to hear these days on pop or R&B radio is young "ho" wannabees moaning, yodeling, and humping their microphones to a synthesized beat, with a good dose of some guy yelling words that vaguely rhyme in the backgroud. Or the foreground. Whatever works. But that's a different subject entirely..

Oh, for the days of real music... you know, the kind that comes from real instruments..