Today's epiphanies

Yesterday I looked through all of the files my predecessor left behind at work. It was quite an eye-opening experience, especially after the number crunching I've done this week regarding performance in our department.

Basically my long-held suspicions were confirmed. I have been doing three times the work for the same pay, while being held to a much higher standard than others in the office. After I vocalized this last year, there was retaliation.. despite my consistent over-achievement, my performance evaluations had lower ratings than the coworker's. I've got the documentation to prove it.

I also found that anything good that was communicated about my coworker was printed out and put in her personnel file. NONE of my commendations were there. Not one.

Then there are the strategic plans for the department. I wrote them, and received no credit. They are in the files with someone else's name on them. I realize that my supervisor was probably thinking that since I was her employee that it was okay to do this... but it's not okay with me.

On the heels of these revelations, I begin to understand that this isn't really about being over-competitive with a coworker, or about a supervisor not liking me. The coworker and I were never in the same arena, and the supervisor felt that the co-worker needed her. I think there was the attitude of a therapist and not a boss there. Besides, no one likes being called out on something, no matter how small, and no matter what the intent.

So.. this isn't about anyone else. This is about me. I'm a capitalist in a communist environment. A square peg. A person who believes that compensation should be tied to performance, and that there should be standards.. the same standards for all employees in a given job that are upheld consistently.

I've learned from this that while universities are great places, I really belong in industry.