Low Fashion

I have discovered a few things lately.. namely, that I don't like staying by myself, and that I don't like shopping so much anymore.

Perhaps if there was anything in the stores that was worth looking at, or that was remotely flattering, I would feel differently about it. As it is, everything in fashion right now is so ugly that I am honestly somewhat afraid to touch it, afraid the ugly will rub off on me. A list, if you will:

1) Everything is made out of cotton jersey knit (tee shirt material for those of you who don't know your fabrics). Everything. Pants. Dresses., Jackets. Jewelry. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a jersey knit wedding dress out there somewhere. And it would cost $5,000,000 and fall apart the first time it was cleaned.

2) Everything looks like it came straight from the ghetto. Cheap, scratchy net fabric with embedded glitter that gets all over everything. Cheap, tight sausage casings (with glitter!) masquerading as dresses, with rhinestone brooches that are too heavy and drag the front of the dress down like some sort of sparkly anchor. "Business suits" that are actually pathetic excuses for suits of any kind, that could never be worn to any office I've ever worked in.. chintzy fabric, unlined, skirts that barely cover your assets, and jackets that bulge in the wrong places, festooned with lace and ruffles and crap.

3) And the Stripperella look is definitely in. Sorry, but I am not wearing a tube skirt and pasties tied together with glittery string to my father's wedding. And I am not that conservative. Far more conservative than my sister, but not that conservative. It's ridiculous.

4) Every article of clothing on the racks now is made for someone with a heroin-meets-anorexia figure. If you have breasts or (god forbid) a rear end, and you aren't 14 feet tall, you're going to look positively dumpy (or obscene) in any and every dress you try on. There isn't even anything middle-of-the-road. It's either ugly, cheap-fabric old lady clothes with elastic waistbands, or ugly, cheap-fabric, ghetto stripper outfits from the Juniors department.

Maybe it's time I stepped up and stopped shopping at the same places. Of course, that means i'll have to start traveling to shop (Atlanta, Commerce, Charlotte), but... well ok. It would be worth the trip if I could find a few pieces of clothing that didn't make me look like the roly poly stripper from the lower east side.