Word.

I finally talked to Mom last night around 8:30ish. She did get to see the doctor, but he didn't really have much to tell her other than he needed to run some more blood tests. Big surprise there,... that she had to wait all day for him to tell her nothing, and that more tests need to be done.

The stress of this whole thing is really getting to me. I keep thinking of all of the things that have already gone wrong and all the things that could yet go wrong, and I start feeling like I've been flattened by a Mack truck. How long can this go on? How long can she sit there in the condition she's in? And why, why, WHY can't my family give the JW crap a rest?

L told me last night to tell them all that I've decided to become a Mormon like my boyfriend. Tee hee. That would definitely at least get some attention. Unfortunately, more attention is not what I'm after. I would prefer that they just forget that religion ever existed in relation to me. Me and Jesus are all right. Leave it at that.

I really hate not knowing anything about what's going to happen with Mom. I can't really make any plans and it is hard to get on with work when I'm not sure when I will have to leave town again. And I don't (do. not.) understand the decisions people in my family make...

My aunt's decision to take GM to NC and leave her there.. If she were taking her back, I'd be okay with it, but leaving her there seems stupid to me. For one thing, she wants to go back to AR to be with GF and Mom, and for another, if she is staying at the farm, she will be out weeding her flower beds by herself, and is likely to hurt herself.

My sister's taste in men... Need I say more? ; }

The entire family's refusal to apply logic to their religion. I really wonder how an intelligent person can believe some things. Like that a collosal guilt trip will convince someone to alter the course of their life. Or that there is anything anyone can say that will excuse their shunning me for the last 10 years because of the opinion of someone they've never even met. I'm not bitter. I'm not even angry anymore, really. I'm just extremely effing bored with their religion and everything to do with it.

And I'd give just about anything to be back in bed right now. I have a headache and my stomach hurts. Is it time for something good to happen yet???

My birthday is next week... I can't decide if that's supposed to be a happy thought or not.