One More

Yours truly at the Moulin Rouge

A Little Paris..

Here I am at Oxford in England..
Here I am inside a hollow tree on the grounds of Blenheim Palace in England..
Me and L a few minutes after our arrival in Paris yesterday..
This is one of the feral cats that live in the Cemetairie. We walked through and got some amazing pictures today!
Couldn't resist a close up of the kittie..

We visited Sacre Coeur today as well. More amazing pictures from there... but those will have to wait!

One for the Road

Fork Me, I'm Done

Ok.

I have been struggling lately.

I think that every so often, we all go through a "crossroads" period, where we are forced to reevaluate our lives, our relationships with others, and our very perceptions of ourselves. I think that's what has been going on for me over the last few months.

It was brought on by some major life events, an overwhelming sense of inertia, and some relationships that are obviously and blatantly unhealthy the way they are. I've made some major decisions, a few of which have been very, very painful. It is hard to accept that some things are never going to work out the way they should, or the way I want them to. The same people are always going to react to me in the same way, and no amount of self-deprecation, bribery, or trying to please said people is going to change that.

It's time to value and celebrate the good things in my life (even if I am the only one who appreciates them), and throw the garbage out where it belongs.

The Honeymoon couldn't come at a better time. I am going to be away from everything in my life (except my husband, of course, who is one of the good things..lol) for more or less three weeks. Lots of time to get the switch flipped over to "Positive" and figure out how to handle the phasing out of certain negative things and relationships in a kind, reasonable, and balanced way.

I'll post pics when I get back, of course. Lots and lots of pics.

More Interestingness.. for all the girls out there

Relationship Principles: (Comments in parenthesis are mine)

#3
He doesn't marry a woman who is perfect. He marries a woman who is interesting.
(Because, face it, perfect is impossible).

#5
Don't believe what anyone tells you about yourself.
(This is so important.. if your self-esteem and self-image are determined by YOU and not whoever you are with at the time, then NO ONE can make you feel bad about yourself.)

#6
Men see how you dress, and then make assumptions about your relationship potential.
(If you're showing too much skin, people assume that's all you have to offer. I hate to say it, but I learned this the hard way. The more skin you show, the less seriously you are taken. People just don't listen to you when they can see your ta-ta's.)

#11
It is better to be disliked for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.
(Yep. Nobody is better than some people.)

#14
Your power gets lost the minute you start asking "Where do I stand?" Because what you've just told him is that the terms of the relationship are his to dictate.
(Yeah, I messed up on this one. I just couldn't stand it! I had to know "where the relationship was going!")

#20
As soon as a woman hands a man a more serious commitment on a silver platter, he'll be reluctant to take it.

#30
The way to weed out the contenders from the pretenders is to assess their attitude about waiting for sex. If he likes you, he'll be happy just being in your company.

#31
The purpose of waiting is not just to seem classier. You also want to give yourself time to observe him and find out key facts about him.
(Cuz what if you really don't like him so much on the 4th date? Or in the second month? Or whatever? If he's already in your bed and/or living with you, it's waaaay too late! This isn't about being a prude.. it's about giving yourself time to decide if YOU want to be with HIM.)

#46
The more rational and calm you remain, the more emotional he will become.

#65
A guy who really thinks you could be "the one" will say very little about marriage. He'll be much more reserved, and will slowly open up over the course of several months, because he won't want to scare you off.
(I can definitely vouch for this one. L wouldn't even utter the M-word! And when he did, it was to propose.)

#74
Men rarely take it as a compliment when you bend over backward or become too agreeable. Men want to feel special, and when you are too nice he feels ordinary, because he assumes you'd acquiesce and become a yes-person with any man.
(Yikes!)

--from Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov

Interesting Quotes:

"I often compare the ADD mind to Niagara Falls...the trick to making use of the energy of Niagara Falls, and to doing well in life with ADD, is building a hydroelectric plant...Treating ADD may seem as difficult as building a hydroelectric plant--but it can be just as successful."

"..When diagnosis is not made until late adolescence or adulthood, prolonged periods of going nowhere can stultify treatment.... I call these periods of being stuck "spinning" based on an acronym, SPIN. The term sums up the usual causes of getting stuck:

Shame
Pessimism and negativity
Isolation
No creative or productive outlet"

"If you have ADD, you can chart a fabulous course, have the ability you need to reach your goal, but trip over one obstacle after another as you try to get there...You may be caught in the process of SLIDE:

Self-attack
Life-attack
Imagining the worst
Dread
Escape...

Instead of taking things in stride, you go nuts inside."


--from Delivered from Distraction by Dr. Edward M. Hollowell and Dr. John J. Ratey

The more things happen..

...the less I find to say.

It would be easy to just write something every day, I guess.. but then who would want to read it?

I'm just getting geared up for the Honeymoon, which starts in exactly 6 days...

This is Where We Ride.

Here's where Trigger and I went yesterday (and where we go every weekend). This is our waterfall:
And there's a place where there are tons of trees with vines like this:
Then there's an area where the bamboo is taking over. I love the color of it:
And of course, there's a river:
Trigger is flexing his neck here, and also checking out my foot. I think he found it somewhat tasty. :-)

Friday's List

1) My secret mission went well. Now if I can just follow up...

2) If you heard unexplained 80's music yesterday, it was coming from my office. ("You dropped da bomb on me, behbeh, you dropped da bomb on me"). Things got shook up a little.. and nothing may come of it at all. But more than likely everything is about to change.

3) I made chicken last night, breaded with pine nuts, parmigiano-reggiano, italian bread crumbs, and garlic, then sauteed. I served it with fennel slaw, and it was really, really good. I had never eaten fennel. I was pleasantly surprised.

4) I have been reading some books about this thing they call ADD. I am frankly shocked at how much of the stuff I have always just assumed was "wrong" with me was actually due to ADD. I think my mother's entire family has it, and I think my dad may have a touch of it too, although he has much better coping strategies than mom does. LOL

5) I'm going to see Trigger now...

Later: Some interesting quotes from the various ADD books, and maybe some pictures from the ride..

My Future Child's Future Pony

This is Teddy. He belongs to a tiny girl at our barn. Teddy only comes up to my waist. He is SO CUTE! When his little girl outgrows him, I want him!! He is very sweet!
This is Barney, the miniature donkey. He is also terribly cute (and loud sometimes!).

In other news:
1) In the wake of our horrible houseguest, the guest room is being fully sanitized for your safety. ;-)
2) I have a headache already, and it's still very early in the morning. I hope this is a better day for me than yesterday was.
3) The new job is not going to be the new job for me. I have decided that even if they do eventually make an offer, unless the money is spectacular, (and even then there's no guarantee it'll be worth it), I ain't their girl. I've never seen so much disorganization in my life. I don't think it's for me.

The Funniest Thing on the Internets

I have discovered LOLCATS.
Ahhhhhhhhahahahaaaaaha! I have laughed myself silly! I have laughed until I cried!
Ohhhh dear.. LOOK at this:

Hide and Watch

I am on a secret mission.

I can't say what it is.. only that it is secret and it is a mission.

Heh. Heh. Heh.

I have decided to remove myself from the list for the new job. I don't want it after all. But that has very little to do with my secret mission. It is only a side note for those who might be interested.

I am reading a book about me right now. I didn't know it was about me when I picked it up at the library, but it definitely is.

Later: A few quotes from this highly amusing and interesting book.

Universal Question

I'd really like to know why I am so morose and depressed right now. It's not as if there is actually anything wrong, other than the half-hearted job-search and the vague feeling that somehow I'm missing the boat.

Maybe I just need to spend more time with L and/or Trigger and not work so hard. Work really isn't anywhere near as personally rewarding, and I give it far too much time and attention.

Speaking of which, it's time to go, isn't it?

Ok, one more thing, and then I'll go. I need to find a new band. I'm not going to be able to afford to set up the studio anytime soon so that I can work on the CD, so I might as well be playing gigs and making some spare change at least.

I feel very Eeyore-ish today.