Look at My Muffin!!!

I can't believe how fast she has grown up!! What an awesome girl.. I am really excited about having her here for the summer. :-D

The Listification of ORP

Thoughts, at random, as they occur:

1) I thank God every day that five years ago, I stood up against everything I believed in. If I hadn't, I shudder to think of the things I would have had to live with, and the conditions I would be living in. That one little stand.. that one little boundary has made all the difference. I would never have known what a marriage should be, or what I am capable of when I am not told every minute of the day that I am not good enough.. It's amazing, really.

Come on, say it with me: "If you can't treat me with dignity and respect, then you cannot be in any kind of relationship with me." Believe me, it works.

2) Does anyone know what the deal is with friends? Why they fade in and fade out of your life.. why sometimes it seems that they're there and other times it seems as if they don't even know you (or care to)? Is it that we aren't made to have very many really close relationships, or is that human nature doesn't allow us to get along harmoniously when we're very close to one another (whether emotionally or physically)? Is that "forced closeness" why most of us have issues with our families? Just curious...

3) Speaking of friends, ... I think PR doesn't like me anymore. I haven't been able to leave a comment on his blog since that night we went to the Galley, about 6 months ago. And come to think of it, he hasn't really talked to me since then either. I think maybe I am not "in the right crowd" anymore. Or maybe not fit for public association, since I am not a regular church-goer? That' s the impression I have gotten, but I have been known to be wrong before.

If that's the case, though, it's a shame. I miss him.

4) I cooked steak tonight, with garlic and rosemary roasted potatoes. Yumm. It was ten times better than the one we had out at Sassafras on Saturday night.. and even with cocktails, it was about $90 cheaper than Saturday. I am becoming a restaurant snob.. but then I should be, when I can eat better at home for less money.

Makes a difference when gas costs more than food for a week.

5) Ok, I really think I want a baby now. It should have green eyes like L and blonde hair like me. And it should be very fat and giggly.. because that's the best kind of baby.

6) Did I just say that out loud? I did, didn't I?

Later:
Pictures of something.. I haven't decided what yet..

Testy Trigger May Revisit the Trainer

I went riding Sunday and got caught in a rain storm. By the time I got back to the barn, I was soaked and dripping.

Did I mention that I left the top down on the car?

Oh yeah. I got it home, but I won't be driving it for a bit while it dries out. :-(

Trigger has been in rare form lately..


He's beautiful but kind of hard to control, on the ground at least. Getting a bridle on him these days is like WWF. And he wins because he is huge and I am not. I always have to get help now, and I hate it. I think he's going back to the trainer for a one-week brush-up. :-\

A Flag is a Flag.. Except When it Isn't...

So I must relate my experience at the mall on Friday, simply because of the stunning stupidity involved.

Ok, most people who read my blog know that I live in South Carolina (the state that started the Civil War, etc etc). Anyone who knows me also knows that I would never be caught dead wearing a rebel flag.. not because I am not proud of my "Southern Heritage" but because the flag is associated with so much hate and hoopla and complete bullshiat that it has completely lost any other meaning it may (or may not!) have ever had. And I don't particularly relish being automatically classed with the beer-chugging, mullet-wearing, toothless, ignorant bigot that every newscaster in the country seems to find to put on camera anytime a story comes up in the South.

The truth is that most residents of SC don't even know the flag's history, or why so many people are offended by it. They are because "everyone is."

That's just a little background for my Friday Mall Experience. See, I went to get my hair done, and the salon is just across the street from the mall, so I went over to check out the Big Sales. There's a new shoe store there, so I stopped in to see what kind of cool shoes they had.

There were four people in the store: me, the salesgirl (white, blonde, bored), and three black teens.. two boys and a girl. I heard the three black youths discussing something rather heatedly, with the word "b!tch" featured quite prominently. I couldn't figure out what the fuss was about, and kept looking for the person they were talking about.

It took a moment to figure out that it was ME they were talking about. Did I mention that I was wearing a shirt that I bought on my honeymoon? Well, I was. It featured large text that said "OXFORD, ENGLAND", along with...
...a Union Jack. You know, the BRITISH FLAG.

I heard the black girl say "Y'all it's just a shirt!" And the two boys continue to deride my character for being "a damn racist" and other things I can't repeat here.

The salesgirl caught on pretty quickly and said "Oh! Oxford! Have you been to England?"

I replied "Oh yes! I went on my Honeymoon, to ENGLAND!!!" This while holding the shirt out from my chest and pointing adamantly at the HUGE white letters below the flag that said... ENGLAND.

The black girl was the only one who even registered the sarcasm. The change on her face was visible and mortified as she realized that the object of her friends' furor was not in fact a rebel flag at all. She literally averted her eyes and walked away from her two friends, who continued to talk about "that b!tch" until I left the store. It was so hard not to laugh out loud that there were tears threatening to roll down my face by the time I got back out to the main walkway of the mall. I felt so sorry for the poor black girl.. I would never have intentionally embarrassed someone that way, except it was just... necessary.

So, as a quick recap to those of you who may not have appreciated the incredible ignorance at work here, THIS is a rebel flag:
THIS is the Union Jack:

See the difference???

I don't care who you are or where you live... it oughta be pretty easy to tell one from the other.
If any sort of history or geography were taught in schools these days, I think this sort of thing would never happen.

Later:
Another adventure

List # 987,876,234 and counting

1) I'm by myself in the office this week. It's summertime and the students are gone, which means that the faculty are concentrating on their grants. Which means I am busier than the proverbial one-legged man in the proverbial butt-kicking contest. I am taking names, though. ;-)

2) Trigger rocks.

3) L is home, and he rocks too.

4) The cleaning lady came yesterday and the house now rocks as well,

5) Someone I know has a very important doctor's appointment today. She should know that I am thinking about her, hoping all goes well, and that this should definitely change her way of thinking about things. There is nothing as important as taking care of yourself, in every aspect of life. Being healthy and responsible is the foundation for everything else you could ever want to do in life. Everything.

6) I wish I could take one of the dogs to work today. I think Denver would be a good addition to my office on a day when I need to keep people out and my mind in overdrive. Oh well. I wouldn't have room to drive him or time to walk him during the day, so he's best staying here with L. ;-) Besides, our custodian would kill me.

7) By the way, where the heck are my prom pictures??? My niece went to the prom on Saturday and I haven't even seen a single picture of her dress!

Later: Pictures of Trigger.. my how he has grown!
Also: An update on the car shopping extravaganza.

Interesting Quotes:

" We need to have space inside ourselves where we can have a feeling, an impulse, or a desire without acting it out. We need self control without repression. We need to be able to say no to ourselves. This includes both our destructive desires and some good ones that are not wise to pursue at a given time. "

"Steve has a problem hearing and accepting others' boundaries. To him, No is simply a challenge to change the other person's mind... He resists taking responsibility for his own life, so he needs to control others... He is perceived as a bully, manipulative and aggressive.

...

Controllers like Steve are undisciplined people. They have little ability to control their impulses or desires. While it appears that they "get everything they want in life," they are still slaves to their appetites. Delaying gratification is difficult for them. That's why they hate the word No from others. They desperately need to learn to listen to the boundaries of others to help them observe their own."

"...boundaries need to be made visible to others and communicated to them in relationship... We are beset by fears of guilt, not being liked, loss of love and connection...and so on. Because of these fears, we try to have secret boundaries. We withdraw passively and quietly instead of communicating an honest No to someone we love. We secretly resent instead of telling someone that we are angry about how they have hurt us. Often we will privately endure the pain of someone's irresponsibility instead of telling them how their behaviors affect us and other loved ones, information that would be helpful to their soul."

--from "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

It's May Already

Well it's been a while, so I guess I'd better post an update. :-)

I miss L. I'm busier than ever at work, and still trying to get over my sinus/ear infection. I'm going over to M's tonight for Idol night with her and AC. I'm making peach caramel ice cream right now.. waiting for it to set up so I can take it over.

The ice cream maker is really loud.

I'm also doing a lot of life evaluation. Sounds kind of stupid, but without going into too much detail, "life evaluation" is the best way to describe it.

I'm also working on a huge art project (pics later, when there's something to take a picture of...).

Whirlwind

Once again I have so much going on that it's hard to find time to blog.. and most of what is on my mind these days would make boring reading anyway. (Well.. boring or incendiary, neither of which is productive. ;-) )

I have a 43-song set list to learn in very short order. My allergies are acting up. I have a ton of housework that needs doing, and phone calls to make and stupid situations to figure out.

Don't know what's going on with some of my friends.. but something is up with one in particular. I vacillate between trying to figure it out and really not giving a crap. Sounds bad, but hey, it's true.

At least I am not so depressed. :-)

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam..

Victoria & Albert Museum was bombed during WWII.. the holes and dents in the building are still there. Very cool..

Speaking of cool.. Monty Python is, very! We saw Spamalot at the Palace Theatre. :-) It was great!
Here I am with a giant lion at Trafalgar square. This was a hard picture to get.. but fun!
Buckingham Palace..

Pictures! Again!

I thought this one was cool, because the bird took off as I was snapping the picture. It's very interesting to me.
Here I am on our first day in London, in the snow.
And of course I had to have a picture in one of the famous phone booths..
Here is L enjoying his breakfast aboard the Thames ferry boat..
And last but not least.. I am standing on the steps on the other side of the stage, trying to pretend that I am standing on Shakespeare's stage,, since they wouldn't allow me to actually get up there!

More Paris Pictures

Here I am at the top of Sacre Coeur
And here we are on the bridge with Notre Dame in the background..
Here I am in a cafe in Paris. This cat just walked up and jumped into my lap, curled up, and started purring. He was really a lot like Monster.. ;-)
The Arc de Triomphe..
L (with the Eiffel Tower..)

London List

Ahhhh, London...

1) Good Food, surprisingly! Particularly at the Barrowboy and Banker pub, and tonight at the Palm Court in Covent Garden.

2) Westminster Abbey. Wow. Just Wow. There are too many amazing things for the tour guide to even mention. We walked right over the top of a tomb from 1111. As in the Year.

3) The Tube makes much more sense than the Paris Metro.. as long as you mind the gap!

4) I've been forced to revise my intense dislike of rose wines. In the States, a rose is white zinfandel, period. Yecch. Here, it's real wine.. and surprisingly good! Who knew?

5) The Tower of London was so cool! We saw the Crown Jewels, and some really nasty torture devices, and the place where Henry VIII's wives were beheaded... and the tour guide was really funny!

6) The only bad thing is that L is now sick as the proverbial dog. He has had a fever today, and has been sleeping it off as much as possible. Hopefully he will feel better tomorrow, as we have big plans.. shopping, museums, and a play if all goes well.

This has to go on record as the best honeymoon ever. :-)

The Paris List

A few things:

1) European women are interesting. The stores are full of clothes in blindingly bright colors. ALL of the women on the street are wearing head to toe black. Flat, knee-high riding boots are IN here.. with jeans tucked in.. which I have been LAUGHED AT for doing in the States. So there. ;-)

2) The subjects of most of the Louvre's Denon wing paintings from Italian artists look exactly like my niece, S. She would go over very successfully in Europe.

3) The Pompidou Centre looks like a giant combination erector set and gerbil cage. The glass escalators on the outside of the building look like those tubes that gerbils have to connect one part of the cage to another.. and they're stiflingly hot inside. The museum is also weird.. the modern art is supposed to be weird. The fact that there is ABSOLUTELY NO signage or direction to tell you WHERE THEY ARE HIDING THE GALLERIES right now is highly annoying.

4) And just who gets to decide what is "ART" these days anyway?

5) The Rodin museum was absolutely amazing. The inside portion needed some cleaning and some general upkeep, but it was nonetheless incredible. The garden portion outside was wonderful. We loved it.

6) Champs Elysses. Need I say more? I didn't think so.

7) L and I are bar none, hands down, the WORST navigation team on the face of the earth. Only we two together can manage to miss ALL of the bus stops along the Seine by one street, and walk by the monument we are looking for on all sides without ever seeing it! We spent a whole day thinking that the Louvre was the Opera.

9) But we are having a fantastic time! We saw The Thinker! And Venus de Milo! And the Mona Lisa! And Napoleon's Apartments!

Pictures, next time we have enough juice to upload. :-)
Tomorrow: The Catacombs! Versailles!
Bonne Nuit..

One More

Yours truly at the Moulin Rouge

A Little Paris..

Here I am at Oxford in England..
Here I am inside a hollow tree on the grounds of Blenheim Palace in England..
Me and L a few minutes after our arrival in Paris yesterday..
This is one of the feral cats that live in the Cemetairie. We walked through and got some amazing pictures today!
Couldn't resist a close up of the kittie..

We visited Sacre Coeur today as well. More amazing pictures from there... but those will have to wait!

One for the Road

Fork Me, I'm Done

Ok.

I have been struggling lately.

I think that every so often, we all go through a "crossroads" period, where we are forced to reevaluate our lives, our relationships with others, and our very perceptions of ourselves. I think that's what has been going on for me over the last few months.

It was brought on by some major life events, an overwhelming sense of inertia, and some relationships that are obviously and blatantly unhealthy the way they are. I've made some major decisions, a few of which have been very, very painful. It is hard to accept that some things are never going to work out the way they should, or the way I want them to. The same people are always going to react to me in the same way, and no amount of self-deprecation, bribery, or trying to please said people is going to change that.

It's time to value and celebrate the good things in my life (even if I am the only one who appreciates them), and throw the garbage out where it belongs.

The Honeymoon couldn't come at a better time. I am going to be away from everything in my life (except my husband, of course, who is one of the good things..lol) for more or less three weeks. Lots of time to get the switch flipped over to "Positive" and figure out how to handle the phasing out of certain negative things and relationships in a kind, reasonable, and balanced way.

I'll post pics when I get back, of course. Lots and lots of pics.

More Interestingness.. for all the girls out there

Relationship Principles: (Comments in parenthesis are mine)

#3
He doesn't marry a woman who is perfect. He marries a woman who is interesting.
(Because, face it, perfect is impossible).

#5
Don't believe what anyone tells you about yourself.
(This is so important.. if your self-esteem and self-image are determined by YOU and not whoever you are with at the time, then NO ONE can make you feel bad about yourself.)

#6
Men see how you dress, and then make assumptions about your relationship potential.
(If you're showing too much skin, people assume that's all you have to offer. I hate to say it, but I learned this the hard way. The more skin you show, the less seriously you are taken. People just don't listen to you when they can see your ta-ta's.)

#11
It is better to be disliked for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.
(Yep. Nobody is better than some people.)

#14
Your power gets lost the minute you start asking "Where do I stand?" Because what you've just told him is that the terms of the relationship are his to dictate.
(Yeah, I messed up on this one. I just couldn't stand it! I had to know "where the relationship was going!")

#20
As soon as a woman hands a man a more serious commitment on a silver platter, he'll be reluctant to take it.

#30
The way to weed out the contenders from the pretenders is to assess their attitude about waiting for sex. If he likes you, he'll be happy just being in your company.

#31
The purpose of waiting is not just to seem classier. You also want to give yourself time to observe him and find out key facts about him.
(Cuz what if you really don't like him so much on the 4th date? Or in the second month? Or whatever? If he's already in your bed and/or living with you, it's waaaay too late! This isn't about being a prude.. it's about giving yourself time to decide if YOU want to be with HIM.)

#46
The more rational and calm you remain, the more emotional he will become.

#65
A guy who really thinks you could be "the one" will say very little about marriage. He'll be much more reserved, and will slowly open up over the course of several months, because he won't want to scare you off.
(I can definitely vouch for this one. L wouldn't even utter the M-word! And when he did, it was to propose.)

#74
Men rarely take it as a compliment when you bend over backward or become too agreeable. Men want to feel special, and when you are too nice he feels ordinary, because he assumes you'd acquiesce and become a yes-person with any man.
(Yikes!)

--from Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov

Interesting Quotes:

"I often compare the ADD mind to Niagara Falls...the trick to making use of the energy of Niagara Falls, and to doing well in life with ADD, is building a hydroelectric plant...Treating ADD may seem as difficult as building a hydroelectric plant--but it can be just as successful."

"..When diagnosis is not made until late adolescence or adulthood, prolonged periods of going nowhere can stultify treatment.... I call these periods of being stuck "spinning" based on an acronym, SPIN. The term sums up the usual causes of getting stuck:

Shame
Pessimism and negativity
Isolation
No creative or productive outlet"

"If you have ADD, you can chart a fabulous course, have the ability you need to reach your goal, but trip over one obstacle after another as you try to get there...You may be caught in the process of SLIDE:

Self-attack
Life-attack
Imagining the worst
Dread
Escape...

Instead of taking things in stride, you go nuts inside."


--from Delivered from Distraction by Dr. Edward M. Hollowell and Dr. John J. Ratey

The more things happen..

...the less I find to say.

It would be easy to just write something every day, I guess.. but then who would want to read it?

I'm just getting geared up for the Honeymoon, which starts in exactly 6 days...